Can it really be a year?

Sometimes life just seems to get in the way.  The last time I posted on this blog was April 24, 2012. A lot has happened in this Grandma's life since that date but the joy of experiencing life with my darling Jack in NYC actually began one year ago yesterday so I have decided to revisit this adventure now that I am settled in a new life style in the Second City.  The past eight months of transition between suburban and urban life have been filled with new challenges and delights and each day continues to present new situations.  This time I am, however, not on my own so I am experiencing these changes with Tom and our faithful dog Liffey.

Jack enjoys a glass of water at his Dad's favorite Chicago Irish Pub

First, and most important, Jack continues to be an incredible child.  I say that with absolutely no prejudice even though I am his "Gamma"  He is fifteen months old, walking a lot and talking a bit and is as handsome as ever. It is also true that I miss him everyday but through FaceTime we are able to watch him as he grows. We make it our business to see him as often as possible and he seems equally delighted to see Tom and me whenever possible.  I have to say at this point that I was initially a bit disappointed when Jack looked at Tom when he was visiting at Christmastime and said ,very distinctly, "Poppa!" and was unable to say "Gamma".  I know Tom is quite the charming guy and a great Dad and "Poppa" but kid, who cleaned your poopie diapers for three months? This brought back some vivid memories of my boys' childhoods where after long days of at home motherhood spent feeding, entertaining and performing various grooming duties on the boys they would eagerly run from my loving arms at the arrival of their "hero" Dad when he walked in the door. Deja Vu.

Well, back to the reason for my renewed interest in writing about Grandma and the City. Writing and documenting my life as the Granny/Nanny last year became a very enjoyable part of the entire experience.  Being on my own for three months helped me to get out of my accustomed situation and to look at my life from many different perspectives.  I truly believe that those three months began a new era for me. If you read through my initial posts you will know that I had the rare opportunity to spend time with myself for perhaps the first time in my life. As a Baby Boomer who married directly out of college, as our smarter kids rarely do now, I had never come home to my own apartment and dealt with the everyday matters of life without the constant need to consider another person before making practically all of my daily decisions.  I was also able to observe my son as a husband and a father and feel so blessed that I was able to discover how strong his new little family is and how they work together as a couple to raise this precious child. I truly fell in love with urban life and my experience in NYC absolutely prepared me for the major move that Tom and I made to Chicago.  It is a very different life.  This transition has been new and exciting but do not think that it has been without some major challenges.

So in one year I became a Grandmother, lived in NYC for three months, sold a home that we lived in for twenty-four years, moved to an entirely different environment than I had ever experienced just three weeks after returning home, and I am working very hard to adjust to the challenges that resulted from all of these major life changes.  I hope that all of this will result in some insightful and amusing commentary in the future.

The strangest thing about writing this blog is that it is quite impossible to know if anyone will actually read it.  I guess I want to share this or I would not write it.  Regardless of the readership I find this extremely therapeutic.  I know that as I talk to friends along the way about the various topics which inspire me to write that there is a bond among us. We share so many of the same struggles of the mind and it does help to air them.  One of the greatest joys of my life is the time I spend with dear friends. The demands of our lives make it a challenge to spend the amount of time that we need together and writing this makes me feel that these friends are somehow closer to me.

Stay tuned and you will learn how I have transitioned from a life of 58 years as a suburbanite to a truly sophisticated urban woman.  Not really, but it sounds pretty impressive.

                               Liffey and I enjoy a morning walk along Lake Michigan

Time to Go Home

It seems unreal to me that three months have passed so quickly but they have and I will be going home in just three days.  As I have said in my earlier posts, this experience has exceeded my expectations in too many ways to count. I have learned a few things that I would like to share.

1. Being a grandparent is everything and so much more than everyone always tells you before you become a grandparent. You hear the standard jokes about this but it is a fact.  It is a miracle to see the child of your child.

2. I truly feel that the past three months with this wonderful boy, (and his parents), has helped to ease me out of my decade long "mid-life crisis" in which I was trying to figure out who I was and what I was "supposed" to be doing with my life. The fact is that sometimes you have to just let life happen and enjoy what you have.

3. Reuniting with family members from your childhood is a very sweet and important thing to do if you can.  I have been so fortunate to have been able to spend time with first-cousins that I enjoyed during my childhood.  We shared very special grandparents and as children we got together at least every two years even though we lived a thousand miles apart.  The years and our own family responsibilities have unfortunately caused us to see each other more often when someone passes away than when good times occur. We were able to reconnect as they live in the New York area and it is as if we were always friends.  This is very special to me.

4. New York is NOT a scary place.  It is an interesting and complicated city that is surprisingly easy to navigate.  It has endless possibilities and I could live here for years and still discover new and amazing things to do every day.

5. I really love the theater and have neglected that fact over the years mainly through a degree of laziness.

6. Living alone for a few months is okay.  Quiet is not so bad.

7. There is alot to say about the benefit of having your primary mode of transportation being your own two feet. I did not miss driving for a minute. I also actually enjoyed the subway. I rarely took cabs.

8. A glass of red wine most nights does not hurt you. It can actually help you. It is not a sin to drink this wine when you are alone. On occasion if this glass of wine is accompanied by a small piece of chocolate it is even better.

9. I have an exceptional husband. Tom did not hesitate for a minute when I decided to become a Granny/Nanny for three months.  He did it for Jack but he also did it for me and I will always be grateful for that.  His life actually changed as much, or more than mine did during this time. He had to maintain his job as usual but he also had to do all of the things that I did in our life. I am a very lucky woman.

10. Last and definitely not least I have discovered that wonderful things can happen when you least expect them.  After a year of frustration trying to sell our house we took it off the market.  We were not sure what we were going to do but I was leaving town and we would deal with it when I returned.
A month ago our realtor called and told us that someone had seen it online and was interested.  This family looked at the house and bought it. Who knew? Well, it has been an extremely busy month and I returned to Chicago for one week in April and we were able to find a condo that we feel is perfect for us. It has been a challenge to arrange everything long distance but it looks like three weeks after I return home we will be moving on to a new experience.

That is it for now. Maybe in the not too distant future there will be a "Grandma and the Second City" Time will tell but I will never forget all of the happiness that Brian and Lindsay and my darling Jack have given me on my little adventure.

The last Weekend

As I sit here on a Friday night it is almost impossible to believe that this is the beginning of my last weekend in New York.  A week from tonight I will be on an airplane traveling back home.  This has been such an incredible experience for me in so many ways and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.  I will talk more about this later this week. Life has been so busy over the past month that I know that the frequency of my postings has decreased.  This is not a reflection of my interest in sharing my experiences or of the depth of the changes in this period of my life.  It has been the level of activity in my life that has rendered me too exhausted for the most part to write on a consistent basis.

I was struck this morning on my way to the subway that most of the time my life here has become somewhat routine on a day to day basis but I still have moments when I just look at my surroundings and can not believe that I am actually here.  This weekend Brian has traveled to Chicago for a bachelor party so he will enjoy, among other activities, a rooftop ticket to a Cub's game.  Michael and Tom are also attending the same game together so I know that there will be a reunion of my guys and that makes me very happy.  They share a special bond that is sometimes enjoyed on a different level without "Ma"  I am not at all offended by this fact.  Lindsay will enjoy a little very well deserved Mommy and boy time.

I will enjoy my final Broadway show tomorrow.  This will be my sixth show since I have discovered my new love of the theater.  This is one of the aspects of New York that I have enjoyed the most.  I will go to the tkts booth and stand in line with the other theater lovers and buy a ticket for 40 to 50% off the regular price.  I did this last Saturday when my sister was here for her Yoga Journal Conference so while she was vigorously doing her yoga from 8am until 6:30 I was standing in line for two hours so I could purchase two tickets to the new show "Once"  It was well worth the wait. I have to tell you how enjoyable my two hours in line were.  It was a beautiful warm and sunny day and I made friends with several young theater lovers in the line.  I totally held my own in the big city as we discussed our favorite shows and our preferences for the day's performances.  Who knew this suburban grandma could converse so ably about the hottest and most desirable shows?  I almost felt guilty when they discovered that I had seen "The Book of Mormon" as it is so popular that the tkts never has tickets for the show. I was very touched and impressed by some of the young people that I met.  These are students and people who share a great love for the theater.  It is a very important part of their lives.

So tomorrow I will see some show that I have not decided on as yet and then I will meet my friend Erin for brunch on Sunday and that will be my last weekend in New York.  Sounds like a good one to me.

This is a picture you just had to see.  The season has changed and my boy needs a hat that protects him from the sun.

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

I know it has been a while since my last post but life has been crazy for the past two weeks.  What was to have been a relaxing week in South Carolina with two great friends ended up being a week in Chicago to take care of some necessary business.  More on that later but as I returned to New York I began a wonderful weekend.  Tom and Michael accompanied me on this part of the adventure and a great time was had by all.
We spent the weekend enjoying the company of Lindsay's  Mom Joanne who had come to spend the week with Jack and his parents. It is always great to see her and catch up on life. Michael had not seen his nephew since Thanksgiving when Jack was three weeks old so I could see that the initial fear that he had of holding Jack was replaced with a true sense of comfort and fun.  As Mike said there is nothing like knowing that you have the ability of making that kid laugh.

Lindsay knows how much I love her and how much a part of our family she has become so I can talk about how fabulous Sunday was without the fear of offending her.  Sunday was a reunion of the original four.  The boys and their parents enjoying a sporting event like we did for so many years. Who could have predicted that the Bulls would face the Knicks at Madison Square Garden on the very Sunday that team Ross was reunited. Corny as it sounds it was definitely one of the best days I can remember for a very long time.  We met at an Irish Bar before the game and the boys, including Dad, did a shot and a Guinness.  What a proud mother I am.  The usual banter between my guys brought back so many of the great times we had over the years on spring breaks or at other sports events. Honestly, as we walked from the bar to MSG I felt such a rush of pure happiness that  it surprised even me. So much has changed over the past ten years as the boys have become men but when the "Original Four" are together we still have it.  Yes, Ma is still the butt of many jokes but it is in such an endearing way that I love it.

I had to include this due to the incredible matching sweaters. Jack has style just like his Grandpa Tom.

The game was spectacular even though the Bulls lost 100-99 in overtime.  It was a real rush to be a Bull's fan in a sea of Knick's fans. I was only sorry that we did not have the forethought to wear our Bull's t-shirts.  That would have been sweet.  I will think about this wonderful day for many years to come.  In a few years Jack can join the fun and wear his Bull's t-shirt.

The Ross boys enjoy MSG and the Bulls

What a Difference Two Months Make

When I first arrived in NYC on January 28 I had a preconceived vision of what image I should portray to be a true New Yorker.  I remember the first weekend that I was by myself and meeting a friend for lunch I was so careful to dress in what I thought to be the "New York " way.  I got up and showered and did my hair and makeup very carefully.  I made sure to wear dark colors and try to be as sophisticated as possible. I did not want to look like a hick from the Midwest who just did not get the New York style thing.  Well I'm over it.  Last Saturday I had the best day walking around and shopping with my hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing my bright pink workout jacket, navy pants and my walking shoes. I walked up Fifth Avenue and looked at all of the exclusive shops as I had in the past weeks and realized that no one really notices, or cares for that matter, what the hell I am wearing. This made me feel quite satisfied that I had, in fact, become as much of a true New Yorker as one could become in two months.

I also enjoyed one of the wonderful advantages of living in this great city on Sunday as I woke up early and went to the tkts (reduced price same day ticket booth) in Times Square.  It was certainly a Bucket List item for me during my stay and the experience did not disappoint.  Tkts opens on Sunday at 11 am for matinee performances so I arrived at 10:15 thinking I was beating the crowd.  Bad idea.  I arrived, in the rain, to a line that wrapped around several times.  It felt a bit like Disney World but I was very impressed by the organization and efficiency of the entire operation.  People were very cordial and the forty-five minutes passed very quickly with everyone discussing what shows they wanted to see.  As soon as the booth officially opened I was amazed to see how rapidly the line moved.  We were told by a very entertaining group of workers during our wait to be prepared with several choices when we got to the front of the line since we might not be able to get tickets to to the show we wanted most to see.  I was pleased to be able to purchase a tenth row orchestra ticket to "Sister Act", my first choice, for half of the regular ticket price.  The Sunday before I had seen "The Book of Mormon" with my sister and paid a somewhat obscene amount for the ticket so I was very proud of my accomplishment.

The show was wonderful and ended a very enjoyable weekend. On my walk back to my apartment I still possessed the feeling of awe that I was actually living in New York City and felt so lucky to have had the opportunity to enjoy four Broadway shows over the past two months.

I know this picture has no relation to this post but Jack has not given up on the Orangemen even though they have been eliminated from March Madness.

The Forgotten One

Anyone who has come to my home over the past ten years has probably been met with the loud bark of my beloved dog Liffey. Some may even be a bit put off by this distinctive baritone yelp. It is sad to admit this but the UPS man refuses to get out of his truck if Liffey is in the yard when he arrives in fear, I guess, for his well being. I have handled this by meeting him at the truck in all kinds of weather and assuring him that her bark is loud but she would never harm anyone. He does not buy this for a minute. On a positive note I am sure that we get fewer unwanted solicitations as a result of this behavior.

I remember the first time I heard this bark was when I was in the kitchen looking down at my adorable new eight week old puppy and heard her emit a sound like I had never heard before.  Our previous dog Betsy was an extremely difficult act to follow as she rarely made any noise at all.  Tom always called her "arf-less" so we were all astounded when Liffey barked so loud and has continued to do so for over a decade. When you get to know her Liffey is truly a very sweet dog who has shown so much love for our entire family. Liffey is also, and I say this with no prejudice, a very smart dog. She is a very interesting animal and has been an entertaining addition to our family. Liffey came into our life at a time when Brian had left for college and Michael was becoming an independent high school sophomore so Tom and I needed someone to worship us.

Now it is true that our sons think that we spoil our dog and that we are a "bit crazy" at times in our devotion to her. Brian always refers to her as "your dog" but he really never lived with her for an extended period of time. It is true that she has been bathed in our jacuzzi and that in the summer she likes to take a dip in the pool and then lounge on her personal pool chair until she gets hot again and repeats the process. She does have her own sofa in our bedroom where she enjoys sleeping at night. Every once in a while she has a spa day at the groomer. It seems very natural to me because she is the only other girl who has ever lived in our house and she is quite beautiful.

I have genuinely missed Liffey very much over the past two months and know that she has done for Tom while I have been away what she always does for me in Tom's absences. She gives unconditional love.  You come in at the end of a long hard day and she wags her tail and maybe even rolls over for a tummy rub. You can be smelly from working out or grouchy from a hard day at the office and she smiles at you, (yes, she does in fact actually smile), and your day just gets better.  All of the times that Tom has traveled for work and I have been alone in the big house I have had companionship with Liffey. She can sleep on the bed with me, (don't tell Tom), and somehow I just feel safer and not alone.

Tom reflects on life as Liffey gazes wistfully in the background. They are both missing me.
I still don't know how he takes such good pictures of himself with his cell phone.

I must give a shout out to Liffey's dog walker Cyd who comes over every afternoon to feed Liffey and give her a walk.  She also offers her love and I know how much Cyd has enjoyed getting to know Liffey. So Liffey, thank you for helping me to enjoy my adventure in NYC.  I know it has been difficult for you to be alone so much during the day.  You are used to having me there to let you in and out of the house and now you have to wait patiently for your daily walk and then for your Dad to come home.  I will try to make it up to you when I come home.

Picture texted to me by Cyd with the caption, "I miss you Mommy" Talk about your guilt feelings.

A Tale of Two Brothers

This has to be brief because I have a very important basketball game to watch.  I am faced with a mother's dilemma tonight because the stars have aligned in a way that has caused the Badgers to face the Orangemen in the Sweet Sixteen.  How do I cope with the pressure that this has put on me?  The emails were flying today between the boys and the question was asked,"Who will Ma root for?"
How to I base my decision?  I could be practical and ask myself how much Tom and I invested in the two institutions but that is essentially a wash.  This is not about dollars and cents.  This is a matter of school pride.  How can I choose.  I choose to be neutral.  My love for both boys is equal so I must not show any favoritism. Brian asked if I wanted to stay for dinner tonight and watch the game but I choose to watch it in the solitude of my little apartment. I hope its a good game and is enjoyed by all. After all, no one seemed to care when Purdue blew it over the weekend and lost in the final seconds to Kansas after leading the entire game.

Michael is quite dashing in his Wisconsin fleece

Jack is the one who knows how to please the crowd by wearing an outfit representing a team that we all love

A happy moment this summer when Brian showed his Cuse' pride