Jack's First Cold

When I arrived in New York five weeks ago Brian had a cold. That cold was passed on briefly to me who immediately started to overdose on Zicam, (by the way that stuff really works), and finally to Lindsay. Of course our greatest fear was that Jack would get sick so that was the primary topic of conversation in the house. Tough guy that he is Jack was fine.

Now let me make this perfectly clear because I know that Jack's other loving grandparents may be reading this, Jack is fine.  He did, however catch a cold this week and I assure you that we took it harder than he did. There was never any fever. There was a cough and congestion that resulted in some discomfort but he took it well. He was a bit irritated when I took him for a walk, with the approval of both of his parents. I may have gone a bit overboard because in 50 degree weather I dressed him for a blizzard. Grandpa Tom would have loved this.

Jack is quite surprised and somewhat irritated during our warm weather walk.

This illness brought back so many memories of having a sick child.  You can actually feel and hear the congestion in his little chest as you hold him. It seems like such a big cough for such a little boy. You feel so helpless when you know that he is unable to blow his little nose to ease his discomfort. We had a somewhat trying day and Lindsay decided to come home early and take Jack to see the doctor just to be sure that this was only a cold. This is when I discovered that what they say about how wonderful it is to be a grandparent because you get all of the benefit of the good times and the parents have the ultimate responsibility for the more unpleasant times is very true.  Now I would truly lay down my life fo this boy but I have to admit that when my incredible daughter-in-law came through the door I felt a sense of relief. She is such an amazing mother.  A natural. She came in after a day at work and calmly dressed him and loaded him comfortably in the Baby Bjorn for the two block walk to the doctor's office. As soon as Jack saw her he smiled and seemed to feel better already. Somehow I never remember being that calm during situations like this. I know it was just a cold but it was Jack's first time being sick and I truly admired Lindsay's calm and loving demeanor with this precious boy. What a lucky boy.


Have you ever seen a Mommy look so pretty right after giving birth?

 When I got home that night I have to admit that I was exhausted.  After I received the call that Jack was okay I had a glass of wine and called his concerned Grandpa Tom to assure him that all was well.

Baby Steps and a Great Performance

It may not seem very significant to many people but I attended a play by myself for the first time this weekend. I have always had a special respect for actors who can put themselves out there night after night for the world to see without the opportunity for retakes. In fact, I attended my first Broadway play at the age of twelve with my sister.  We saw "Funny Girl" staring a 23 year old Barbra Striesand. It was amazing even though we had no idea that we were witnessing the beginning of an extraordinary career. I will never forget that night.
When I decided to move to New York for a few months I told myself that this would be an opportunity to see some plays that I had wanted to see for a while. I do have a stream of  welcome visitors coming very soon but last Sunday I went to see a play alone.

Now, I love my friends and family very much but it is sometimes difficult to accommodate various schedules when making social plans. There is always a series of emails and phone calls and checking with spouses to determine if a certain date will fit.  This was so simple.  I had wanted to see Cynthia Nixon in "Wit", the story of a college professor who was dying of ovarian cancer.  I had seen this play on HBO with Emma Thompson and had been moved by the drama and wanted to see it performed live. I was walking by the theater where it is playing a week ago and I simply went in and purchased a ticket. Not a very dynamic thing to do but for some reason the simplicity of the transaction was somewhat exhilarating. I don't mean to sound anti-social but doing something like this alone is quite significant for me.  It pales in comparison to the idea of choosing a restaurant that I would love to try and making a reservation for one and actually eating alone but it is a "baby step".

I was overwhelmed by Ms. Nixon's performance and although the subject matter was terribly depressing the interpretation and the material was both dramatic and  at times humorous. How incredible to possess all of that talent.  Cynthia Nixon was literally on the stage for the entire performance.  The play was nearly two hours long with no intermission. The brilliance of the performance and the entire production had such a profound impact on me that I walked home after the play.  I had taken the subway there but somehow I felt the need to walk in the sunlight with the vibrance of the city. I know I have written previously about feeling at home in New York and I do but on this walk some of the awe of simply being here returned. As my phone rang and I began speaking to Tom I was simply amazed that I was walking past Rockefeller Center where I could watch the ice skaters. Now that is pretty awesome.



You didn't think I could end a post without a picture of the cutest baby in the world did you?



"I'm walkin here!!"

It's amazing how quickly a person can adapt to new surroundings. There is still a sense of awe as a walk through the streets of New York City but there is also a surprising sense of belonging. This suburban mid-west girl experienced a true "Midnight Cowboy" moment the other day as I was crossing a street, with the light I might add, and a car almost ran a red light and hit me. I was not in the least frightened like my old self would have been.  I was annoyed. I heard myself say, "Hey, watch where you're going!" as I showed my displeasure.  That was pretty big for me. (Please note that I was alone on my way home and definitely not with sweet Jack) I am a perfect, overprotective Gamma at all times.


Pluto is Jack's new best pal.  Aren't they adorable?

Other evidence that I have adapted to being a New York woman are as follows:
1. I am no longer the stranger at Starbucks.  I am "Grande Soy Misto" I don't even have to place the order.  My friendly Barrista simply prepares it when I enter the store.
2. Each morning I have a very friendly conversation with the police woman who directs traffic on my corner. She knows me, not by name, but we look forward to seeing each other each morning and exchange information pertaining to the weather and our general well being.
3. I know my way around the grocery store and can find everything I need very easily.
4. I can sleep through persistent sirens, horn honking and even the loud voice of the police officers who are urging drivers to proceed.



Jack is not impressed



Finally during a walk in the park the other day Jack and I discovered that a movie or television show was filming.  We followed the signs but were unable to find any famous people.  There were a lot of very busy looking people around but they were just crew.  It was probably some "Law and Order" thing but it would have been fun to happen upon a star or two. I guess some of the amazement reappeared on this walk as we strolled along the river and I took pictures.  Hard to believe that I am really here and can just take a walk and take this picture.  Jack, however, was not impressed.  He's a city kid and this is just another day in the life.

Impressive photo

Weekend Update

One of the challenges of my situation is facing weekends alone. I know the kids are here but I did make it clear that they are in the midst of forming their family bond and I was not going to "hang out" with them on a regular basis.  I faced this three day weekend with some trepidation but my angst was not necessary. This has been a great weekend even though I continue to miss my better half very much.

I started my Saturday with brunch with my college room mate, whom I had not seen since my wedding in 1976. This was one of those moments where you truly realize that time does pass so rapidly your head can spin. Catching up was wonderful and it was as if we had spoken yesterday.  She remains the petite, energetic Jersey girl I remember from so many years ago. We talked about the guys we went out with and where they might be now and so many other memories.  We plan to get together again before I leave NYC. We ate at a restaurant in the theater district so I decided that even though I had taken a cab there I would walk home. This may not seem like a big deal to most people but on my walk I passed the theater where a play I had wanted to see was showing.  It is "Wit" a drama starring Cynthia Nixon.  Now I have never gone to a play alone because I have been part of a couple for so long but I decided that I could do this so I went in and purchased a ticket for a matinee next weekend. I guess it was kind of a bucket list moment for me.

As soon as I returned home Brian texted me that they were at a bar on the lower east side with friends and I should come join them. Off I went.  Two social engagements in one day and I was in Grandma heaven.  Jack seems to like bars at a very early age and I must say that he was his usual adorable self and I was so proud when people would look at him and smile.It was also great to see friends Ryan and Beth who now live in NYC . What a great couple. I managed to get myself home after that and enjoy a little sushi take out before I slept very well. On Sunday I was treated to a delicious dinner with a wonderful couple visiting from home. I met them at a beautiful restaurant at Lincoln Center and arrived a few minutes early. Typical me.  Anyway, I must say that for one very brief moment waiting at the bar in this shiny contemporary atmosphere I thought to myself, " You are actually by yourself sitting at a bar in NYC.  You actually are looking pretty good tonight for a Grandma and this is a bit awesome"  Then I got a little scared of myself and was so happy to see my friends Bob and Maria enter the bar. I learned at dessert that it was their anniversary and can't believe how generous they were to include me in their dinner.

Festive anniversary dessert for three?

I have to mention that the only glitch in this weekend was a minor plumbing problem that will be repaired tomorrow.  I take much pride in the fact that I have figured out a temporary fix for this potential disaster.  I did not panic. This is just another part of learning to live alone for a while.


Jack and I enjoyed yoga again on Friday. Namaste.



My very special Auntie Bev

Sometime in 1952, I believe, my Aunt Beverly came from her native New York to visit her older brother Marvin and his new wife Jackie in St. Louis. She never left. She also, after over 50 years never quite lost her New York accent. In January of 2011 my Auntie Bev passed away at the age of 84 leaving behind a legacy of love and many people that she had touched in a variety of ways.

My Aunt had a life that certainly had its sad moments.  Widowed at the young age of 47 she never had children of her own due to a hereditary disease that took the life of her husband. She had other personal struggles but don't ever believe that her life was not a happy one or a life that did not impact the ones who loved her in so many ways. Bev was bright, brassy, funny, devoted to her family and, yes, sometimes inappropriate.  She was also a very kind person who genuinely cared about others. 

There are so many "Auntie Bev" stories that I don't know where to begin.  I want to do her justice as I talk about her but it is almost impossible to describe her in a few words.  I do remember the first time my husband met her when we were dating.  She was a very small and pretty woman with a big smile and a chest to match.  She was very "direct" in her speech and Tom was not often exposed to this in women Bev's age.  I can't remember exactly what she said but I do remember that Tom turned a nice shade of red.  Over the years he came to enjoy her open personality and even when she sat on his lap stating that she only wished she were a few years younger he knew that it was just her way of telling him that he was one of the family.

My Aunt used to take my sister and I out to "Happy Hour" as soon as we were old enough to drink  She got a real kick out of this but I did notice that she actually never had a drink herself. She was also a woman who had to adjust to change at later stages of her life.  After she was widowed she learned how to drive for the first time.  That's not easy at 47 and although she basically only drove about a ten square mile area most of her life  she did it because she had to and I thought it was a brave thing to do. As the years went on Bev became a favorite of my boys as they too learned that having Aunt Bev sit on your lap or tell you how handsome you were was a natural part of who she was.

It was very difficult watching Bev decline.  As I visited her in the nursing home I still felt her warmth and saw how open she was with others.  She loved to dance and always enjoyed the musical entertainment at the home.  She became the "greeter" for a while and would sit in the lounge at the entrance smiling at everyone who walked by.  In the end she was somewhat confused and could no longer communicate.

Bev had a modest income but through the wonder of my father's financial acumen she was more comfortable than she ever realized.  This is the main reason I am sharing her story now.  Bev's estate was divided between her remaining brother, as my father had sadly predeceased her, and my father's three children.  Her legacy has enabled my sister, who bravely attended law school in her forties, to pay off her loans and has made my stay in New York an easy one.  I would have done this anyway but her gift allowed me to not think twice about the expenses involved in this stay.  I could do this on my own without asking Tom for the money.  Now, he would laugh at this because I rarely "ask" for money but it just meant a lot to me to be able to do this with no guilt.

My only regret is that my dear Auntie Bev will never know how much her legacy has meant to so many people.  Then again, I hope that in some way she does know.  She would be very proud.


I told you she had a beautiful smile.



Grandpa and the City!

This was a very special weekend because Grandpa Tom came to visit  and everyone was happy to see him, especially Grandma.  Tom has been so supportive of this adventure of mine and I think that after 35 years of living together he is pretty special for taking on the additional burdens of living alone while I am away.  He works hard and now has to cook his own meals, do his shopping and his own laundry.  We all know that he is the" King of Clean" and likes to perform tasks around the house related to cleaning but seriously, I don't think that many men would have been so open to this situation and accepted the additional responsibilities on top of a busy job. I always knew I has picked a winner but its nice to be reminded.   This situation is a kind of unique role reversal as he has always been the one to leave as his career required him to travel and I was left behind.  I enjoyed showing him my apartment and the neighborhood and sharing the experience with him did make it more special.



This kid is jumping out of his seat with excitement!



Now it goes without saying that the high point of the visit was watching Grandpa and Jack get to know each other better.  That wide-eyed darling boy had his Grandpa cooing and baby talking in no time and they enjoyed watching the Bulls together.  Jack is already a fan even though he is a native New Yorker and he can't keep his eyes off the TV when the Bulls are playing. Grandpa also enjoyed taking his turn giving Jack his bottle. We enjoyed a dinner out to celebrate Valentine's Day on Saturday and were happy to watch Jack on Sunday night so his Mom and Dad could have their own well deserved Valentine dinner on Sunday night.

Its a little lonely tonight as Grandpa had to go home but he will be back soon and we can discover more about NYC each time.

Amazing self portrait taken by Grandpa on an iphone.  How did he do that?

The Beauty of Anonymity

I had no intention of posting tonight  but this unprecedented consecutive post simply could not wait.  I will be brief because, as you may recall, Tom thinks my posts may be too long and frequent.  I had another wonderful day on my journey and it began with an impromptu visit by my adorable cousin Irene.  Irene is a young woman who has been a New Yorker for about five or six years and is talented, creative and a total pleasure to be around.  She met Jack for the first time and I think it was love at first sight. They both seem to have that effect on people.

After my day with Jack was complete I returned to my neighborhood and enjoyed a relaxing and extremely quiet pedicure.  I must add that yesterday I had enjoyed an extremely relaxing manicure in Jack's neighborhood after "work".  Here is the importance of these two grooming experiences.  Anyone who knows me knows that nail care has always been somewhat important to me.  I take pride in the condition and appearance of my nails as many people do.  I am not obsessed  but I do require an acrylic manicure and have surprisingly found that many of the salons in my new area do not perform this procedure.  On a walk the other day with Jack I found such a place and was delighted.  Another welcome surprise to me was that the cost of both manicures and pedicures in NYC is actually lower than at home.  The quality of both experiences was outstanding.  As the manicurist began to work on me ever so gently,(she was even wearing a surgical  mask!) I couldn't help but compare this quiet calm place to my hometown salon where there was always conversation and a high level of activity.  This place was  so serene I nearly nodded off.  Then to my surprise and delight another employee quietly came up behind me and started to massage my neck. Who knew? This is New York. My immediate reaction was to tense up but I quickly accepted the unexpected pleasure.

I had a very similar experience with the pedicure tonight.  It was quiet, relaxing and almost zen like.  Then it occurred to me that the reason I felt so free was that I am living a virtually anonymous existence here.  I hope this does not make me sound unfriendly, you know that I am a pretty friendly person, but here I can walk down the street or go shopping or anything else and no one knows who I am.  Once you get over the initial unfamiliarity it is rather freeing to be in this situation for a while. 

As Jack would say, "peace"

Living Alone

It took fifty-eight years but I am finally experiencing what it is like to live alone.  I must admit that I was apprehensive about spending my first weekend alone in a new city.  Yes, I have my kids and Jack here but I was very specific when I decided to take on the role of the granny/nanny for a few months that I would not be dependant on them for entertainment  on the weekends.  They are a new young family and have to bond as a unit without Grandma always being there.

The initial strangeness of coming home to a quiet empty apartment is somehow a bit less lonely as the days progress.  I should add too that it is never really quiet here as it seems to me that New York drivers honk their horns much more frequently than any other place I have ever been.  Do they really think that honking a horn changes the behavior of other drivers or pedestrians?  I seriously doubt it.  There are also endless emergency vehicles sounding sirens at all hours of the night.  After only one week this odd symphony has become just white noise to me.  I probably won't be able to sleep in the quiet of the burbs when I return home.

My  first weekend did turn out to be very enjoyable for several reasons.  First I have to thank one of my favorite young New Yorkers, and daughter of my best friend Kim, and her boyfriend for taking me to lunch on Saturday and getting the weekend started.  Erin is a very impressive young woman. She is beautiful, smart and very brave for coming to New York several years ago to start a career in advertising that has led her to much success.  We had a great lunch and also walked through a part of town that was very accessible to my apartment.  I have discovered that the best way to figure out this town is to walk it.

This may sound very boring but Sunday was a very satisfying day for me because it was my first day being totally solo in my new city.  It may sound mundane but I woke up when I wanted to wake up, went to Starbucks and sat there by myself reading the New York Times and then went grocery shopping. I had already taken my laundry in the previous day for the same day "fluff and fold" experience.  This is a wonderful thing that New Yorkers do.  You just take a big bag of dirty clothes to a cleaners and within a few hours it is ready for you to pick up all folded in a surprisingly small package.  I definitely do not miss doing my own laundry.

  After my domestic duties were complete it was about noon time and I had the rest of the day ahead of me. That is when the true magic began.  I took a walk.  By this I do not mean I put on the usual walking gear and walked simply for exercise, I mean I walked to Central Park and then down Fifth Avenue and simply marveled at the fact that I was in New York City with no particular place to go but so many things to see.  I walked past the Plaza Hotel and down to St. Patrick's Cathedral and then made my way to Rockefeller Plaza and stopped to watch the ice skaters.  I continued to Times Square and down Broadway and just kept walking.  Somehow it seems to me that you just don't get tired when there is so much to observe and you are under no particular pressure to accomplish anything or meet a time line.

It was a great day.  Then I went home to watch the Giants win the Super Bowl.  I am very glad that they won.  Don't get me wrong, I wish it was the Bears but if not the Bears this time the Giants are okay with me.

I must also mention that since I have been in this wonderful city I have had the most glorious weather.  I hear that this is unprecedented for February but doubt if my presence has anything to do with this phenomenon.

Jack loves yoga

Well, the first week ended with a very exciting outing for Jack and Gamma.  Lindsay came home Thursday night with a very special gift for us.  A certificate for two sessions of " Mommy and Me" or in our case, "Gamma and Me" yoga.  What a special daughter-in-law I have.  I was very excited about the prospect of a little exercise and the chance to participate in a class with Jack so I brought my yoga clothes the next day in anticipation of our little journey.

The weather in NYC has been unusually mild since I arrived so the prospect of walking a mile each way to the class was not problematic at all.  After I had performed the ritual of getting us ready and positioning the stroller on the first floor,( refer to previous post for the drama behind that one), I looked at the directions that Lindsay had printed for me and discovered that the yoga studio was actually 1.8 miles from the apartment and not one mile. Fortunately I was running a bit early, any of my friends and my loving husband especially, know that I tend to be obnoxiously on time.  This time it was a good thing.  We started the walk through neighborhoods I had never experienced before and my little angel slept the entire way.  We made it on time, not early Tom, and had no problem finding our way.  I could not help but think about the sharp contrast in this life to the constant in and out of the car I had experienced as a typical suburban mom.  You can actually live your life and take your children to activities and only rely on your two feet. Very illuminating.

I don't want to over do this but the class was one of the most positive experiences I have had in a very long time.  The instructor was welcoming and warm.  This is yoga of course so I did expect a degree of relaxation.  The class consisted of five babies, Jack was the only boy, three moms, an attractive looking urban dad, and one grandmother.  I was secretly disappointed when the other parents did not throw themselves on the floor with shock as they learned I was the grandmother and not the mother but one mom was gracious and polite and told me that I was indeed a very young looking grandma.  Okay, she was being polite but it made me feel somewhat redeemed.Of course, and I am not making this up, Jack was truly the most observant, flexible and best natured baby in that studio.  He loved the ceiling fan from the get go and focused on me as we went through the various exercises. It was so much fun I can't tell you. I stretched and posed with the best of them holding Jack and swinging him through the air as requested.  I was going to keep up if it killed me. We ended by doing the baby yoga versions of "I'm a Little Teapot" and the "Hooky-pooky" and Jack smiled and squealed with delight. A few of the other babies had to pause for a feeding or for their parents to calm them down but Jack just kept looking around and exploring the surroundings. What an exceptional boy and what a totally wonderful day.

Jack was tired after our outing but I was EXHAUSTED! ( No picture available of my condition.) It is a fact that doing yoga while holding a baby and balancing him while you pose is tough at any age. The four mile round trip was invigorating while I was doing it but when I was home and settled down I could not move.  I spent the night at Brian's and slept well after just one martini.  It was Friday, the end of my first wonderful week.

Finally, Jack still can't understand why the Bears are not in the Super Bowl.  Better luck next year.

I'm getting to be a real New Yorker

I am happy to report that after four days as Jack's official granny/nanny and a total of six days in the Big Apple I am transitioning into being a true New Yorker.  I walk very fast even when I have no particular place to go and the flashing "do not walk" symbol is not a high priority.  I want everyone to think that I am important too and I can't possibly be expected to wait for a sign.  Of course, when I am walking with my little sweetheart I am extremely careful, if not a bit paranoid.

 We have had two walks so far.  One to the park that is on the river with a great view of the bridge and the city and one to the butcher where I swear I bought chicken breasts that are big as my head.  I digress but I have to tell you that I have NEVER seen meat like this.  The pre-packaged cuts we find in most grocery stores pale in comparison to these selections.  The most traumatic part of that shopping experience for me were the whole skinned rabbits,( including their little heads) that lay naked before me in the meat case.  Thank god Jack was asleep and escaped the horror of that sight. I can only imagine the unexplained screams he might have let out when he was introduced to Peter Rabbit.

Tom says these posts are too long but since he is not here I will continue.  I have to tell you how nuts I was the first time I prepared for our walk.  Remember taking your kids out?  Not too difficult. Well this is my grandson and he deserves only the best so I became obsessed with anything that could possibly go wrong.  First I had to take the stroller down a flight of stairs.  No big deal but I'm now 58, not 28 so I was concerned about the potential of dropping the thing.  It's only one flight so I was okay, suffering only a minor backache that night.  The real issue for me was not to forget my keys to the apartment when I took the stroller down and lock Jack in the apartment.  I never knew how OCD I was until I checked my pocket fifty times assuring myself I had not put Jack in any danger by locking myself out of the apartment.  Then I had to go back up get Jack, severely overdress him for the weather, carry him down the stairs and get him securely seated in the stroller.  By the way, strollers are awesome now.  They are lightweight, easy to drive and you look really cool walking down the street behind one. They even have cup holders and a special wrist strap that secures you to the stroller so you won't let the baby roll away.  Very clever.

Finally, I have to comment about how my brilliant little Jack knows when his picture is being taken.  This kid has his picture taken so often that its like a cross between a press conference and the red carpet. It is truly amazing how the changes in technology over the past twenty or thirty years have made it so easy to share his life with those who love him.  If he does something especially cute, which is quite often, I just take out my cell phone and can send it to someone instantly.  This is no big deal for our kids but I can remember when our kids were little and we had the video camera that took pictures on a VHS tape.  Can you remember what a huge machine that was?  We thought we had it all.  We had hit the big time with that one.  Now I can take a video one minute and send it to his Bubbe to delight her immediately.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term "Bubbe" that is is Great-grandmother.

I have to go now and eat a chicken breast that is as big as my head. Its been a long day.  I leave you with a picture of Jack dressed somewhat like an old man.  I found this particularly adorable.  Notice how well he poses?