What a Difference Two Months Make

When I first arrived in NYC on January 28 I had a preconceived vision of what image I should portray to be a true New Yorker.  I remember the first weekend that I was by myself and meeting a friend for lunch I was so careful to dress in what I thought to be the "New York " way.  I got up and showered and did my hair and makeup very carefully.  I made sure to wear dark colors and try to be as sophisticated as possible. I did not want to look like a hick from the Midwest who just did not get the New York style thing.  Well I'm over it.  Last Saturday I had the best day walking around and shopping with my hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing my bright pink workout jacket, navy pants and my walking shoes. I walked up Fifth Avenue and looked at all of the exclusive shops as I had in the past weeks and realized that no one really notices, or cares for that matter, what the hell I am wearing. This made me feel quite satisfied that I had, in fact, become as much of a true New Yorker as one could become in two months.

I also enjoyed one of the wonderful advantages of living in this great city on Sunday as I woke up early and went to the tkts (reduced price same day ticket booth) in Times Square.  It was certainly a Bucket List item for me during my stay and the experience did not disappoint.  Tkts opens on Sunday at 11 am for matinee performances so I arrived at 10:15 thinking I was beating the crowd.  Bad idea.  I arrived, in the rain, to a line that wrapped around several times.  It felt a bit like Disney World but I was very impressed by the organization and efficiency of the entire operation.  People were very cordial and the forty-five minutes passed very quickly with everyone discussing what shows they wanted to see.  As soon as the booth officially opened I was amazed to see how rapidly the line moved.  We were told by a very entertaining group of workers during our wait to be prepared with several choices when we got to the front of the line since we might not be able to get tickets to to the show we wanted most to see.  I was pleased to be able to purchase a tenth row orchestra ticket to "Sister Act", my first choice, for half of the regular ticket price.  The Sunday before I had seen "The Book of Mormon" with my sister and paid a somewhat obscene amount for the ticket so I was very proud of my accomplishment.

The show was wonderful and ended a very enjoyable weekend. On my walk back to my apartment I still possessed the feeling of awe that I was actually living in New York City and felt so lucky to have had the opportunity to enjoy four Broadway shows over the past two months.

I know this picture has no relation to this post but Jack has not given up on the Orangemen even though they have been eliminated from March Madness.

The Forgotten One

Anyone who has come to my home over the past ten years has probably been met with the loud bark of my beloved dog Liffey. Some may even be a bit put off by this distinctive baritone yelp. It is sad to admit this but the UPS man refuses to get out of his truck if Liffey is in the yard when he arrives in fear, I guess, for his well being. I have handled this by meeting him at the truck in all kinds of weather and assuring him that her bark is loud but she would never harm anyone. He does not buy this for a minute. On a positive note I am sure that we get fewer unwanted solicitations as a result of this behavior.

I remember the first time I heard this bark was when I was in the kitchen looking down at my adorable new eight week old puppy and heard her emit a sound like I had never heard before.  Our previous dog Betsy was an extremely difficult act to follow as she rarely made any noise at all.  Tom always called her "arf-less" so we were all astounded when Liffey barked so loud and has continued to do so for over a decade. When you get to know her Liffey is truly a very sweet dog who has shown so much love for our entire family. Liffey is also, and I say this with no prejudice, a very smart dog. She is a very interesting animal and has been an entertaining addition to our family. Liffey came into our life at a time when Brian had left for college and Michael was becoming an independent high school sophomore so Tom and I needed someone to worship us.

Now it is true that our sons think that we spoil our dog and that we are a "bit crazy" at times in our devotion to her. Brian always refers to her as "your dog" but he really never lived with her for an extended period of time. It is true that she has been bathed in our jacuzzi and that in the summer she likes to take a dip in the pool and then lounge on her personal pool chair until she gets hot again and repeats the process. She does have her own sofa in our bedroom where she enjoys sleeping at night. Every once in a while she has a spa day at the groomer. It seems very natural to me because she is the only other girl who has ever lived in our house and she is quite beautiful.

I have genuinely missed Liffey very much over the past two months and know that she has done for Tom while I have been away what she always does for me in Tom's absences. She gives unconditional love.  You come in at the end of a long hard day and she wags her tail and maybe even rolls over for a tummy rub. You can be smelly from working out or grouchy from a hard day at the office and she smiles at you, (yes, she does in fact actually smile), and your day just gets better.  All of the times that Tom has traveled for work and I have been alone in the big house I have had companionship with Liffey. She can sleep on the bed with me, (don't tell Tom), and somehow I just feel safer and not alone.

Tom reflects on life as Liffey gazes wistfully in the background. They are both missing me.
I still don't know how he takes such good pictures of himself with his cell phone.

I must give a shout out to Liffey's dog walker Cyd who comes over every afternoon to feed Liffey and give her a walk.  She also offers her love and I know how much Cyd has enjoyed getting to know Liffey. So Liffey, thank you for helping me to enjoy my adventure in NYC.  I know it has been difficult for you to be alone so much during the day.  You are used to having me there to let you in and out of the house and now you have to wait patiently for your daily walk and then for your Dad to come home.  I will try to make it up to you when I come home.

Picture texted to me by Cyd with the caption, "I miss you Mommy" Talk about your guilt feelings.

A Tale of Two Brothers

This has to be brief because I have a very important basketball game to watch.  I am faced with a mother's dilemma tonight because the stars have aligned in a way that has caused the Badgers to face the Orangemen in the Sweet Sixteen.  How do I cope with the pressure that this has put on me?  The emails were flying today between the boys and the question was asked,"Who will Ma root for?"
How to I base my decision?  I could be practical and ask myself how much Tom and I invested in the two institutions but that is essentially a wash.  This is not about dollars and cents.  This is a matter of school pride.  How can I choose.  I choose to be neutral.  My love for both boys is equal so I must not show any favoritism. Brian asked if I wanted to stay for dinner tonight and watch the game but I choose to watch it in the solitude of my little apartment. I hope its a good game and is enjoyed by all. After all, no one seemed to care when Purdue blew it over the weekend and lost in the final seconds to Kansas after leading the entire game.

Michael is quite dashing in his Wisconsin fleece

Jack is the one who knows how to please the crowd by wearing an outfit representing a team that we all love

A happy moment this summer when Brian showed his Cuse' pride

Bubbe meets Jack

It's been a few days since my last post because last weekend was a very special time. Jack finally had the pleasure of meeting his Bubbe, (for you non-Jews its pronounced bub-ee). Anyone who has met my Mom knows that she is quite a special woman and at the age of almost 84 she was thrilled at the prospect of meeting her first great-grandson.  My big sister Madalyn joined in the experience and a great time was had by all. Jack was his usual charming self and was asleep in his crib when they arrived. They both looked down at him in awe of his cuteness and he raised his little head from sleep and gave a big grin and a little giggle.  It was truly love at first sight all around.


A perfect pair

The weekend was full of nostalgia as Bubbe spent part of her childhood living in NYC and had many memories of familiar sights.  We were also lucky to enjoy a reunion dinner with several of my cousins and so many thoughts of childhood visits to New York to visit my grandparents occurred to me. It is unfortunate that we all live so far apart but as we sat there with three generations, (it was past Jack's bedtime so he had to stay home with his Mom), it was wonderful to catch up on life and share a meal and a few drinks . It was as if we see each other all of the time and that is very comforting to me.

Jack and his Dad prepare to attend a St Patrick's Day party

Not only was NYC celebrating the arrival of Bubbe and Auntie Madalyn there was a celebration for the great St. Patrick.  They even held a parade.  This is another opportunity to give a shout out to Bubbe Jackie because it seems that NYC goes a bit nuts over St. Patrick's day, as does Chicago and we ended up right in the middle of the chaos. Picture an early Saturday night dinner with your mother and your sister and about one million drunken people lining the streets.  We had no problem getting to the restaurant but after dinner it was practically impossible to catch a cab home. My Mom was a trooper and walked about seven blocks before we finally flagged down a driver to help us get home.  She seemed pretty relaxed about the entire situation but I was a bit of a wreck.

So I have been a bit to tired to blog for a few days but it is a happy and satisfied kind of tired so that is good.  There were more pictures taken of this child than ever before.  It was like a press conference and he was the star. I think it may be going to his head.



Jack gets to know his great-aunt Madalyn

A Very Special Day

A few weeks ago I was in the unusual situation of enjoying lunch with my son and my grandson on a Monday afternoon. It was an unusually nice day in February and Brian had taken the day off while Lindsay was at work so we went for a walk through the neighborhood. Brian showed me the best place to buy fresh fruit, some of his favorite restaurants and we ran a few errands. We ended up at his favorite Greek restaurant and sat together enjoying some wine and grilled calamari.  Yes, I said enjoying wine and it was a Monday afternoon. As we sat there talking and eating, Jack by the way slept for the entire hour being the perfect baby that he is, I could not help but think that this was probably the first time in a decade that I had been alone for a lunch out with my son. This was a very special day for me and I think Brian felt it too.

I realized that I am now in a unique and privileged situation that rarely happens to parents of adult children.  I am able to actually witness how my son is living his life. Since Brian left for college twelve years ago we have remained close but it is impossible to truly understand how one's child is actually living his day to day existence.  We all want our kids to grow up and become independent and I have always known about the major events in his life but now I can observe so much more. I can see what a wonderful dedicated father he is becoming and how natural it is for him to care for Jack. I always knew that he had chosen well when he married Lindsay but I can now see how well they work as a family and how important they are to each other. It is the little things that I am able to see like watching them cook a meal together or organizing their schedules that are so comforting to me. I can also observe the challenges that they face juggling their careers with their family life. It is difficult to express but it reminds me that sometimes your child can tell you about a new home or a new city that they are living in but until you actually see them in their surroundings you don't feel the level of comfort in knowing that they are happy. I now know that when I return home I will be able to picture them taking a walk to the park this summer and playing in the playground with Jack.  I will be able to visualize them in everyday situations and somehow that makes me very happy.



Father and son enjoy a beverage together. Cheers!

I know that our children are always "children" to us but this experience has made me realize that Brian has become the man that we hoped that he would become.  It is very difficult to believe that this is the same guy we waited up for so many nights during the teen years and I can only smile when I think about him doing the same thing in the future with his son.


What a beautiful family

City Kid

I was recently sitting in Brian and Lindsay's living room on a weekday morning listening to a variety of sirens, garbage trucks, street sweepers and other common "city sounds"  Jack was fast asleep in his crib after finishing his morning bottle and playing for a while. I started to think about our recent walks through Jack's neighborhood and how he usually fell asleep about five minutes into our excursions no matter where we were headed.  On our way to yoga a few weeks ago we walked directly under the subway tracks for a few blocks and he did not stir a bit. During the first few weeks that I was taking care of Jack every time he was napping and I heard an outside noise I would be alarmed and go check his room to see if he was disturbed.  The only thing that did disturb him one morning was the sound of his grandma walking into his room to check and see if he was okay. I'll bet that when Jack comes to visit his Grandma and Grandpa this May in the suburbs he will have trouble sleeping due to the silence.

Grandma and Jack enjoy a ride on the subway. Don't be alarmed, the ominous looking guy in the background is Jack's Dad.

All of this talk about my little "City Kid" has made me reflect on how people's experiences in life can be so different. I have predominately lived my life in a suburban "bubble" with the exception of college and a few years of early marriage living in urban settings. It did take me a week of walking by a large brick building on my street on my way to the subway in the morning realize it was a public school.  So different from the suburban schools surrounded by homes and lawns with playgrounds and athletic fields. I remember a dear friend of mine telling me several years ago how lucky we were to raise our children in our community.  Of course I agree that we are fortunate but this experience has also shown me that there are many ways for children and families to enjoy fulfilling lives in very different surroundings.  Whether you pick up your child from school in an SUV or on foot or in a taxi cab does not determine the quality of the child's experience.  I am sure that there are advantages and disadvantages in all situations. Perhaps its just me but I have truly enjoyed observing the different lifestyle that an urban environment can create. I think it would have been a challenge for me to grow up in an environment with so much stimulation.

My city kid is helping me understand the complexity of the NYC Subway system.  What a smart boy!

Girl's Weekend

Lindsay is happy to begin her trip with a walk

Last Thursday I was pleased to welcome my beautiful niece Lindsay, yes another Lindsay, to NYC for a visit.  Lindsay is a labor and delivery nurse in Portland Oregon and the only girl among the grandchildren on my side of the family. That is not her only distinction.  She is smart, creative, fun and Jack loved her at first sight. Our time together began with a walk in the neighborhood

Lindsay and Irene at  Washington Sq. Park

This was the beginning of a very special weekend that I was privileged to share with some of the brightest young people I know and they are all in my family. Friday we spent the day with Jack and then enjoyed a wonderful dinner with Brian and Lindsay when they came home from work.  On Saturday my niece and I were joined by our cousin Irene, another young and talented resident of NYC for the matinee of The Lion King  followed by a delicious dinner.  Lindsay, my daughter-in-law, joined us for dinner so it was a girl's night out.  I was so proud to share this experience with these three beautiful and accomplished young women.  I know it is cliche but I do remember not so long ago when these girls were "kids". They are now self-sufficient professionals who are making their way in the world in their own unique ways. Time does indeed pass by so quickly that I was especially thrilled to be spending this evening with these women who are so special to me and that I do not get to see as often as I would like. I LOVE being the mother of boys but I have to admit that there is something very cool about just being with girls for a change. We did some more touring around the city and Brian treated us to brunch on Sunday.  Jack joined us and I must very impartially say that his behavior in the restaurant was perfect.  He smiled, he ate and he charmed everyone.

Lindsay and Jack enjoy Sunday brunch

My Lindsay left today to return to Portland and I will miss her very much. It was a perfect  weekend, one that I will cherish for many years to come.

Finally, a "shout out" to Grandpa Tom who will be back in NYC this coming weekend. We love you and miss you and know that you are working hard at home. I could not be doing this without your sacrifice and hard work.

                     Grandpa Tom must do his own ironing while watching one of his favorite movies. He has learned to multi-task in the absence of his wife. What a special man!