Time to Go Home

It seems unreal to me that three months have passed so quickly but they have and I will be going home in just three days.  As I have said in my earlier posts, this experience has exceeded my expectations in too many ways to count. I have learned a few things that I would like to share.

1. Being a grandparent is everything and so much more than everyone always tells you before you become a grandparent. You hear the standard jokes about this but it is a fact.  It is a miracle to see the child of your child.

2. I truly feel that the past three months with this wonderful boy, (and his parents), has helped to ease me out of my decade long "mid-life crisis" in which I was trying to figure out who I was and what I was "supposed" to be doing with my life. The fact is that sometimes you have to just let life happen and enjoy what you have.

3. Reuniting with family members from your childhood is a very sweet and important thing to do if you can.  I have been so fortunate to have been able to spend time with first-cousins that I enjoyed during my childhood.  We shared very special grandparents and as children we got together at least every two years even though we lived a thousand miles apart.  The years and our own family responsibilities have unfortunately caused us to see each other more often when someone passes away than when good times occur. We were able to reconnect as they live in the New York area and it is as if we were always friends.  This is very special to me.

4. New York is NOT a scary place.  It is an interesting and complicated city that is surprisingly easy to navigate.  It has endless possibilities and I could live here for years and still discover new and amazing things to do every day.

5. I really love the theater and have neglected that fact over the years mainly through a degree of laziness.

6. Living alone for a few months is okay.  Quiet is not so bad.

7. There is alot to say about the benefit of having your primary mode of transportation being your own two feet. I did not miss driving for a minute. I also actually enjoyed the subway. I rarely took cabs.

8. A glass of red wine most nights does not hurt you. It can actually help you. It is not a sin to drink this wine when you are alone. On occasion if this glass of wine is accompanied by a small piece of chocolate it is even better.

9. I have an exceptional husband. Tom did not hesitate for a minute when I decided to become a Granny/Nanny for three months.  He did it for Jack but he also did it for me and I will always be grateful for that.  His life actually changed as much, or more than mine did during this time. He had to maintain his job as usual but he also had to do all of the things that I did in our life. I am a very lucky woman.

10. Last and definitely not least I have discovered that wonderful things can happen when you least expect them.  After a year of frustration trying to sell our house we took it off the market.  We were not sure what we were going to do but I was leaving town and we would deal with it when I returned.
A month ago our realtor called and told us that someone had seen it online and was interested.  This family looked at the house and bought it. Who knew? Well, it has been an extremely busy month and I returned to Chicago for one week in April and we were able to find a condo that we feel is perfect for us. It has been a challenge to arrange everything long distance but it looks like three weeks after I return home we will be moving on to a new experience.

That is it for now. Maybe in the not too distant future there will be a "Grandma and the Second City" Time will tell but I will never forget all of the happiness that Brian and Lindsay and my darling Jack have given me on my little adventure.

The last Weekend

As I sit here on a Friday night it is almost impossible to believe that this is the beginning of my last weekend in New York.  A week from tonight I will be on an airplane traveling back home.  This has been such an incredible experience for me in so many ways and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.  I will talk more about this later this week. Life has been so busy over the past month that I know that the frequency of my postings has decreased.  This is not a reflection of my interest in sharing my experiences or of the depth of the changes in this period of my life.  It has been the level of activity in my life that has rendered me too exhausted for the most part to write on a consistent basis.

I was struck this morning on my way to the subway that most of the time my life here has become somewhat routine on a day to day basis but I still have moments when I just look at my surroundings and can not believe that I am actually here.  This weekend Brian has traveled to Chicago for a bachelor party so he will enjoy, among other activities, a rooftop ticket to a Cub's game.  Michael and Tom are also attending the same game together so I know that there will be a reunion of my guys and that makes me very happy.  They share a special bond that is sometimes enjoyed on a different level without "Ma"  I am not at all offended by this fact.  Lindsay will enjoy a little very well deserved Mommy and boy time.

I will enjoy my final Broadway show tomorrow.  This will be my sixth show since I have discovered my new love of the theater.  This is one of the aspects of New York that I have enjoyed the most.  I will go to the tkts booth and stand in line with the other theater lovers and buy a ticket for 40 to 50% off the regular price.  I did this last Saturday when my sister was here for her Yoga Journal Conference so while she was vigorously doing her yoga from 8am until 6:30 I was standing in line for two hours so I could purchase two tickets to the new show "Once"  It was well worth the wait. I have to tell you how enjoyable my two hours in line were.  It was a beautiful warm and sunny day and I made friends with several young theater lovers in the line.  I totally held my own in the big city as we discussed our favorite shows and our preferences for the day's performances.  Who knew this suburban grandma could converse so ably about the hottest and most desirable shows?  I almost felt guilty when they discovered that I had seen "The Book of Mormon" as it is so popular that the tkts never has tickets for the show. I was very touched and impressed by some of the young people that I met.  These are students and people who share a great love for the theater.  It is a very important part of their lives.

So tomorrow I will see some show that I have not decided on as yet and then I will meet my friend Erin for brunch on Sunday and that will be my last weekend in New York.  Sounds like a good one to me.

This is a picture you just had to see.  The season has changed and my boy needs a hat that protects him from the sun.

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

I know it has been a while since my last post but life has been crazy for the past two weeks.  What was to have been a relaxing week in South Carolina with two great friends ended up being a week in Chicago to take care of some necessary business.  More on that later but as I returned to New York I began a wonderful weekend.  Tom and Michael accompanied me on this part of the adventure and a great time was had by all.
We spent the weekend enjoying the company of Lindsay's  Mom Joanne who had come to spend the week with Jack and his parents. It is always great to see her and catch up on life. Michael had not seen his nephew since Thanksgiving when Jack was three weeks old so I could see that the initial fear that he had of holding Jack was replaced with a true sense of comfort and fun.  As Mike said there is nothing like knowing that you have the ability of making that kid laugh.

Lindsay knows how much I love her and how much a part of our family she has become so I can talk about how fabulous Sunday was without the fear of offending her.  Sunday was a reunion of the original four.  The boys and their parents enjoying a sporting event like we did for so many years. Who could have predicted that the Bulls would face the Knicks at Madison Square Garden on the very Sunday that team Ross was reunited. Corny as it sounds it was definitely one of the best days I can remember for a very long time.  We met at an Irish Bar before the game and the boys, including Dad, did a shot and a Guinness.  What a proud mother I am.  The usual banter between my guys brought back so many of the great times we had over the years on spring breaks or at other sports events. Honestly, as we walked from the bar to MSG I felt such a rush of pure happiness that  it surprised even me. So much has changed over the past ten years as the boys have become men but when the "Original Four" are together we still have it.  Yes, Ma is still the butt of many jokes but it is in such an endearing way that I love it.

I had to include this due to the incredible matching sweaters. Jack has style just like his Grandpa Tom.

The game was spectacular even though the Bulls lost 100-99 in overtime.  It was a real rush to be a Bull's fan in a sea of Knick's fans. I was only sorry that we did not have the forethought to wear our Bull's t-shirts.  That would have been sweet.  I will think about this wonderful day for many years to come.  In a few years Jack can join the fun and wear his Bull's t-shirt.

The Ross boys enjoy MSG and the Bulls

What a Difference Two Months Make

When I first arrived in NYC on January 28 I had a preconceived vision of what image I should portray to be a true New Yorker.  I remember the first weekend that I was by myself and meeting a friend for lunch I was so careful to dress in what I thought to be the "New York " way.  I got up and showered and did my hair and makeup very carefully.  I made sure to wear dark colors and try to be as sophisticated as possible. I did not want to look like a hick from the Midwest who just did not get the New York style thing.  Well I'm over it.  Last Saturday I had the best day walking around and shopping with my hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing my bright pink workout jacket, navy pants and my walking shoes. I walked up Fifth Avenue and looked at all of the exclusive shops as I had in the past weeks and realized that no one really notices, or cares for that matter, what the hell I am wearing. This made me feel quite satisfied that I had, in fact, become as much of a true New Yorker as one could become in two months.

I also enjoyed one of the wonderful advantages of living in this great city on Sunday as I woke up early and went to the tkts (reduced price same day ticket booth) in Times Square.  It was certainly a Bucket List item for me during my stay and the experience did not disappoint.  Tkts opens on Sunday at 11 am for matinee performances so I arrived at 10:15 thinking I was beating the crowd.  Bad idea.  I arrived, in the rain, to a line that wrapped around several times.  It felt a bit like Disney World but I was very impressed by the organization and efficiency of the entire operation.  People were very cordial and the forty-five minutes passed very quickly with everyone discussing what shows they wanted to see.  As soon as the booth officially opened I was amazed to see how rapidly the line moved.  We were told by a very entertaining group of workers during our wait to be prepared with several choices when we got to the front of the line since we might not be able to get tickets to to the show we wanted most to see.  I was pleased to be able to purchase a tenth row orchestra ticket to "Sister Act", my first choice, for half of the regular ticket price.  The Sunday before I had seen "The Book of Mormon" with my sister and paid a somewhat obscene amount for the ticket so I was very proud of my accomplishment.

The show was wonderful and ended a very enjoyable weekend. On my walk back to my apartment I still possessed the feeling of awe that I was actually living in New York City and felt so lucky to have had the opportunity to enjoy four Broadway shows over the past two months.

I know this picture has no relation to this post but Jack has not given up on the Orangemen even though they have been eliminated from March Madness.

The Forgotten One

Anyone who has come to my home over the past ten years has probably been met with the loud bark of my beloved dog Liffey. Some may even be a bit put off by this distinctive baritone yelp. It is sad to admit this but the UPS man refuses to get out of his truck if Liffey is in the yard when he arrives in fear, I guess, for his well being. I have handled this by meeting him at the truck in all kinds of weather and assuring him that her bark is loud but she would never harm anyone. He does not buy this for a minute. On a positive note I am sure that we get fewer unwanted solicitations as a result of this behavior.

I remember the first time I heard this bark was when I was in the kitchen looking down at my adorable new eight week old puppy and heard her emit a sound like I had never heard before.  Our previous dog Betsy was an extremely difficult act to follow as she rarely made any noise at all.  Tom always called her "arf-less" so we were all astounded when Liffey barked so loud and has continued to do so for over a decade. When you get to know her Liffey is truly a very sweet dog who has shown so much love for our entire family. Liffey is also, and I say this with no prejudice, a very smart dog. She is a very interesting animal and has been an entertaining addition to our family. Liffey came into our life at a time when Brian had left for college and Michael was becoming an independent high school sophomore so Tom and I needed someone to worship us.

Now it is true that our sons think that we spoil our dog and that we are a "bit crazy" at times in our devotion to her. Brian always refers to her as "your dog" but he really never lived with her for an extended period of time. It is true that she has been bathed in our jacuzzi and that in the summer she likes to take a dip in the pool and then lounge on her personal pool chair until she gets hot again and repeats the process. She does have her own sofa in our bedroom where she enjoys sleeping at night. Every once in a while she has a spa day at the groomer. It seems very natural to me because she is the only other girl who has ever lived in our house and she is quite beautiful.

I have genuinely missed Liffey very much over the past two months and know that she has done for Tom while I have been away what she always does for me in Tom's absences. She gives unconditional love.  You come in at the end of a long hard day and she wags her tail and maybe even rolls over for a tummy rub. You can be smelly from working out or grouchy from a hard day at the office and she smiles at you, (yes, she does in fact actually smile), and your day just gets better.  All of the times that Tom has traveled for work and I have been alone in the big house I have had companionship with Liffey. She can sleep on the bed with me, (don't tell Tom), and somehow I just feel safer and not alone.

Tom reflects on life as Liffey gazes wistfully in the background. They are both missing me.
I still don't know how he takes such good pictures of himself with his cell phone.

I must give a shout out to Liffey's dog walker Cyd who comes over every afternoon to feed Liffey and give her a walk.  She also offers her love and I know how much Cyd has enjoyed getting to know Liffey. So Liffey, thank you for helping me to enjoy my adventure in NYC.  I know it has been difficult for you to be alone so much during the day.  You are used to having me there to let you in and out of the house and now you have to wait patiently for your daily walk and then for your Dad to come home.  I will try to make it up to you when I come home.

Picture texted to me by Cyd with the caption, "I miss you Mommy" Talk about your guilt feelings.

A Tale of Two Brothers

This has to be brief because I have a very important basketball game to watch.  I am faced with a mother's dilemma tonight because the stars have aligned in a way that has caused the Badgers to face the Orangemen in the Sweet Sixteen.  How do I cope with the pressure that this has put on me?  The emails were flying today between the boys and the question was asked,"Who will Ma root for?"
How to I base my decision?  I could be practical and ask myself how much Tom and I invested in the two institutions but that is essentially a wash.  This is not about dollars and cents.  This is a matter of school pride.  How can I choose.  I choose to be neutral.  My love for both boys is equal so I must not show any favoritism. Brian asked if I wanted to stay for dinner tonight and watch the game but I choose to watch it in the solitude of my little apartment. I hope its a good game and is enjoyed by all. After all, no one seemed to care when Purdue blew it over the weekend and lost in the final seconds to Kansas after leading the entire game.

Michael is quite dashing in his Wisconsin fleece

Jack is the one who knows how to please the crowd by wearing an outfit representing a team that we all love

A happy moment this summer when Brian showed his Cuse' pride

Bubbe meets Jack

It's been a few days since my last post because last weekend was a very special time. Jack finally had the pleasure of meeting his Bubbe, (for you non-Jews its pronounced bub-ee). Anyone who has met my Mom knows that she is quite a special woman and at the age of almost 84 she was thrilled at the prospect of meeting her first great-grandson.  My big sister Madalyn joined in the experience and a great time was had by all. Jack was his usual charming self and was asleep in his crib when they arrived. They both looked down at him in awe of his cuteness and he raised his little head from sleep and gave a big grin and a little giggle.  It was truly love at first sight all around.


A perfect pair

The weekend was full of nostalgia as Bubbe spent part of her childhood living in NYC and had many memories of familiar sights.  We were also lucky to enjoy a reunion dinner with several of my cousins and so many thoughts of childhood visits to New York to visit my grandparents occurred to me. It is unfortunate that we all live so far apart but as we sat there with three generations, (it was past Jack's bedtime so he had to stay home with his Mom), it was wonderful to catch up on life and share a meal and a few drinks . It was as if we see each other all of the time and that is very comforting to me.

Jack and his Dad prepare to attend a St Patrick's Day party

Not only was NYC celebrating the arrival of Bubbe and Auntie Madalyn there was a celebration for the great St. Patrick.  They even held a parade.  This is another opportunity to give a shout out to Bubbe Jackie because it seems that NYC goes a bit nuts over St. Patrick's day, as does Chicago and we ended up right in the middle of the chaos. Picture an early Saturday night dinner with your mother and your sister and about one million drunken people lining the streets.  We had no problem getting to the restaurant but after dinner it was practically impossible to catch a cab home. My Mom was a trooper and walked about seven blocks before we finally flagged down a driver to help us get home.  She seemed pretty relaxed about the entire situation but I was a bit of a wreck.

So I have been a bit to tired to blog for a few days but it is a happy and satisfied kind of tired so that is good.  There were more pictures taken of this child than ever before.  It was like a press conference and he was the star. I think it may be going to his head.



Jack gets to know his great-aunt Madalyn

A Very Special Day

A few weeks ago I was in the unusual situation of enjoying lunch with my son and my grandson on a Monday afternoon. It was an unusually nice day in February and Brian had taken the day off while Lindsay was at work so we went for a walk through the neighborhood. Brian showed me the best place to buy fresh fruit, some of his favorite restaurants and we ran a few errands. We ended up at his favorite Greek restaurant and sat together enjoying some wine and grilled calamari.  Yes, I said enjoying wine and it was a Monday afternoon. As we sat there talking and eating, Jack by the way slept for the entire hour being the perfect baby that he is, I could not help but think that this was probably the first time in a decade that I had been alone for a lunch out with my son. This was a very special day for me and I think Brian felt it too.

I realized that I am now in a unique and privileged situation that rarely happens to parents of adult children.  I am able to actually witness how my son is living his life. Since Brian left for college twelve years ago we have remained close but it is impossible to truly understand how one's child is actually living his day to day existence.  We all want our kids to grow up and become independent and I have always known about the major events in his life but now I can observe so much more. I can see what a wonderful dedicated father he is becoming and how natural it is for him to care for Jack. I always knew that he had chosen well when he married Lindsay but I can now see how well they work as a family and how important they are to each other. It is the little things that I am able to see like watching them cook a meal together or organizing their schedules that are so comforting to me. I can also observe the challenges that they face juggling their careers with their family life. It is difficult to express but it reminds me that sometimes your child can tell you about a new home or a new city that they are living in but until you actually see them in their surroundings you don't feel the level of comfort in knowing that they are happy. I now know that when I return home I will be able to picture them taking a walk to the park this summer and playing in the playground with Jack.  I will be able to visualize them in everyday situations and somehow that makes me very happy.



Father and son enjoy a beverage together. Cheers!

I know that our children are always "children" to us but this experience has made me realize that Brian has become the man that we hoped that he would become.  It is very difficult to believe that this is the same guy we waited up for so many nights during the teen years and I can only smile when I think about him doing the same thing in the future with his son.


What a beautiful family

City Kid

I was recently sitting in Brian and Lindsay's living room on a weekday morning listening to a variety of sirens, garbage trucks, street sweepers and other common "city sounds"  Jack was fast asleep in his crib after finishing his morning bottle and playing for a while. I started to think about our recent walks through Jack's neighborhood and how he usually fell asleep about five minutes into our excursions no matter where we were headed.  On our way to yoga a few weeks ago we walked directly under the subway tracks for a few blocks and he did not stir a bit. During the first few weeks that I was taking care of Jack every time he was napping and I heard an outside noise I would be alarmed and go check his room to see if he was disturbed.  The only thing that did disturb him one morning was the sound of his grandma walking into his room to check and see if he was okay. I'll bet that when Jack comes to visit his Grandma and Grandpa this May in the suburbs he will have trouble sleeping due to the silence.

Grandma and Jack enjoy a ride on the subway. Don't be alarmed, the ominous looking guy in the background is Jack's Dad.

All of this talk about my little "City Kid" has made me reflect on how people's experiences in life can be so different. I have predominately lived my life in a suburban "bubble" with the exception of college and a few years of early marriage living in urban settings. It did take me a week of walking by a large brick building on my street on my way to the subway in the morning realize it was a public school.  So different from the suburban schools surrounded by homes and lawns with playgrounds and athletic fields. I remember a dear friend of mine telling me several years ago how lucky we were to raise our children in our community.  Of course I agree that we are fortunate but this experience has also shown me that there are many ways for children and families to enjoy fulfilling lives in very different surroundings.  Whether you pick up your child from school in an SUV or on foot or in a taxi cab does not determine the quality of the child's experience.  I am sure that there are advantages and disadvantages in all situations. Perhaps its just me but I have truly enjoyed observing the different lifestyle that an urban environment can create. I think it would have been a challenge for me to grow up in an environment with so much stimulation.

My city kid is helping me understand the complexity of the NYC Subway system.  What a smart boy!

Girl's Weekend

Lindsay is happy to begin her trip with a walk

Last Thursday I was pleased to welcome my beautiful niece Lindsay, yes another Lindsay, to NYC for a visit.  Lindsay is a labor and delivery nurse in Portland Oregon and the only girl among the grandchildren on my side of the family. That is not her only distinction.  She is smart, creative, fun and Jack loved her at first sight. Our time together began with a walk in the neighborhood

Lindsay and Irene at  Washington Sq. Park

This was the beginning of a very special weekend that I was privileged to share with some of the brightest young people I know and they are all in my family. Friday we spent the day with Jack and then enjoyed a wonderful dinner with Brian and Lindsay when they came home from work.  On Saturday my niece and I were joined by our cousin Irene, another young and talented resident of NYC for the matinee of The Lion King  followed by a delicious dinner.  Lindsay, my daughter-in-law, joined us for dinner so it was a girl's night out.  I was so proud to share this experience with these three beautiful and accomplished young women.  I know it is cliche but I do remember not so long ago when these girls were "kids". They are now self-sufficient professionals who are making their way in the world in their own unique ways. Time does indeed pass by so quickly that I was especially thrilled to be spending this evening with these women who are so special to me and that I do not get to see as often as I would like. I LOVE being the mother of boys but I have to admit that there is something very cool about just being with girls for a change. We did some more touring around the city and Brian treated us to brunch on Sunday.  Jack joined us and I must very impartially say that his behavior in the restaurant was perfect.  He smiled, he ate and he charmed everyone.

Lindsay and Jack enjoy Sunday brunch

My Lindsay left today to return to Portland and I will miss her very much. It was a perfect  weekend, one that I will cherish for many years to come.

Finally, a "shout out" to Grandpa Tom who will be back in NYC this coming weekend. We love you and miss you and know that you are working hard at home. I could not be doing this without your sacrifice and hard work.

                     Grandpa Tom must do his own ironing while watching one of his favorite movies. He has learned to multi-task in the absence of his wife. What a special man!

Jack's First Cold

When I arrived in New York five weeks ago Brian had a cold. That cold was passed on briefly to me who immediately started to overdose on Zicam, (by the way that stuff really works), and finally to Lindsay. Of course our greatest fear was that Jack would get sick so that was the primary topic of conversation in the house. Tough guy that he is Jack was fine.

Now let me make this perfectly clear because I know that Jack's other loving grandparents may be reading this, Jack is fine.  He did, however catch a cold this week and I assure you that we took it harder than he did. There was never any fever. There was a cough and congestion that resulted in some discomfort but he took it well. He was a bit irritated when I took him for a walk, with the approval of both of his parents. I may have gone a bit overboard because in 50 degree weather I dressed him for a blizzard. Grandpa Tom would have loved this.

Jack is quite surprised and somewhat irritated during our warm weather walk.

This illness brought back so many memories of having a sick child.  You can actually feel and hear the congestion in his little chest as you hold him. It seems like such a big cough for such a little boy. You feel so helpless when you know that he is unable to blow his little nose to ease his discomfort. We had a somewhat trying day and Lindsay decided to come home early and take Jack to see the doctor just to be sure that this was only a cold. This is when I discovered that what they say about how wonderful it is to be a grandparent because you get all of the benefit of the good times and the parents have the ultimate responsibility for the more unpleasant times is very true.  Now I would truly lay down my life fo this boy but I have to admit that when my incredible daughter-in-law came through the door I felt a sense of relief. She is such an amazing mother.  A natural. She came in after a day at work and calmly dressed him and loaded him comfortably in the Baby Bjorn for the two block walk to the doctor's office. As soon as Jack saw her he smiled and seemed to feel better already. Somehow I never remember being that calm during situations like this. I know it was just a cold but it was Jack's first time being sick and I truly admired Lindsay's calm and loving demeanor with this precious boy. What a lucky boy.


Have you ever seen a Mommy look so pretty right after giving birth?

 When I got home that night I have to admit that I was exhausted.  After I received the call that Jack was okay I had a glass of wine and called his concerned Grandpa Tom to assure him that all was well.

Baby Steps and a Great Performance

It may not seem very significant to many people but I attended a play by myself for the first time this weekend. I have always had a special respect for actors who can put themselves out there night after night for the world to see without the opportunity for retakes. In fact, I attended my first Broadway play at the age of twelve with my sister.  We saw "Funny Girl" staring a 23 year old Barbra Striesand. It was amazing even though we had no idea that we were witnessing the beginning of an extraordinary career. I will never forget that night.
When I decided to move to New York for a few months I told myself that this would be an opportunity to see some plays that I had wanted to see for a while. I do have a stream of  welcome visitors coming very soon but last Sunday I went to see a play alone.

Now, I love my friends and family very much but it is sometimes difficult to accommodate various schedules when making social plans. There is always a series of emails and phone calls and checking with spouses to determine if a certain date will fit.  This was so simple.  I had wanted to see Cynthia Nixon in "Wit", the story of a college professor who was dying of ovarian cancer.  I had seen this play on HBO with Emma Thompson and had been moved by the drama and wanted to see it performed live. I was walking by the theater where it is playing a week ago and I simply went in and purchased a ticket. Not a very dynamic thing to do but for some reason the simplicity of the transaction was somewhat exhilarating. I don't mean to sound anti-social but doing something like this alone is quite significant for me.  It pales in comparison to the idea of choosing a restaurant that I would love to try and making a reservation for one and actually eating alone but it is a "baby step".

I was overwhelmed by Ms. Nixon's performance and although the subject matter was terribly depressing the interpretation and the material was both dramatic and  at times humorous. How incredible to possess all of that talent.  Cynthia Nixon was literally on the stage for the entire performance.  The play was nearly two hours long with no intermission. The brilliance of the performance and the entire production had such a profound impact on me that I walked home after the play.  I had taken the subway there but somehow I felt the need to walk in the sunlight with the vibrance of the city. I know I have written previously about feeling at home in New York and I do but on this walk some of the awe of simply being here returned. As my phone rang and I began speaking to Tom I was simply amazed that I was walking past Rockefeller Center where I could watch the ice skaters. Now that is pretty awesome.



You didn't think I could end a post without a picture of the cutest baby in the world did you?



"I'm walkin here!!"

It's amazing how quickly a person can adapt to new surroundings. There is still a sense of awe as a walk through the streets of New York City but there is also a surprising sense of belonging. This suburban mid-west girl experienced a true "Midnight Cowboy" moment the other day as I was crossing a street, with the light I might add, and a car almost ran a red light and hit me. I was not in the least frightened like my old self would have been.  I was annoyed. I heard myself say, "Hey, watch where you're going!" as I showed my displeasure.  That was pretty big for me. (Please note that I was alone on my way home and definitely not with sweet Jack) I am a perfect, overprotective Gamma at all times.


Pluto is Jack's new best pal.  Aren't they adorable?

Other evidence that I have adapted to being a New York woman are as follows:
1. I am no longer the stranger at Starbucks.  I am "Grande Soy Misto" I don't even have to place the order.  My friendly Barrista simply prepares it when I enter the store.
2. Each morning I have a very friendly conversation with the police woman who directs traffic on my corner. She knows me, not by name, but we look forward to seeing each other each morning and exchange information pertaining to the weather and our general well being.
3. I know my way around the grocery store and can find everything I need very easily.
4. I can sleep through persistent sirens, horn honking and even the loud voice of the police officers who are urging drivers to proceed.



Jack is not impressed



Finally during a walk in the park the other day Jack and I discovered that a movie or television show was filming.  We followed the signs but were unable to find any famous people.  There were a lot of very busy looking people around but they were just crew.  It was probably some "Law and Order" thing but it would have been fun to happen upon a star or two. I guess some of the amazement reappeared on this walk as we strolled along the river and I took pictures.  Hard to believe that I am really here and can just take a walk and take this picture.  Jack, however, was not impressed.  He's a city kid and this is just another day in the life.

Impressive photo

Weekend Update

One of the challenges of my situation is facing weekends alone. I know the kids are here but I did make it clear that they are in the midst of forming their family bond and I was not going to "hang out" with them on a regular basis.  I faced this three day weekend with some trepidation but my angst was not necessary. This has been a great weekend even though I continue to miss my better half very much.

I started my Saturday with brunch with my college room mate, whom I had not seen since my wedding in 1976. This was one of those moments where you truly realize that time does pass so rapidly your head can spin. Catching up was wonderful and it was as if we had spoken yesterday.  She remains the petite, energetic Jersey girl I remember from so many years ago. We talked about the guys we went out with and where they might be now and so many other memories.  We plan to get together again before I leave NYC. We ate at a restaurant in the theater district so I decided that even though I had taken a cab there I would walk home. This may not seem like a big deal to most people but on my walk I passed the theater where a play I had wanted to see was showing.  It is "Wit" a drama starring Cynthia Nixon.  Now I have never gone to a play alone because I have been part of a couple for so long but I decided that I could do this so I went in and purchased a ticket for a matinee next weekend. I guess it was kind of a bucket list moment for me.

As soon as I returned home Brian texted me that they were at a bar on the lower east side with friends and I should come join them. Off I went.  Two social engagements in one day and I was in Grandma heaven.  Jack seems to like bars at a very early age and I must say that he was his usual adorable self and I was so proud when people would look at him and smile.It was also great to see friends Ryan and Beth who now live in NYC . What a great couple. I managed to get myself home after that and enjoy a little sushi take out before I slept very well. On Sunday I was treated to a delicious dinner with a wonderful couple visiting from home. I met them at a beautiful restaurant at Lincoln Center and arrived a few minutes early. Typical me.  Anyway, I must say that for one very brief moment waiting at the bar in this shiny contemporary atmosphere I thought to myself, " You are actually by yourself sitting at a bar in NYC.  You actually are looking pretty good tonight for a Grandma and this is a bit awesome"  Then I got a little scared of myself and was so happy to see my friends Bob and Maria enter the bar. I learned at dessert that it was their anniversary and can't believe how generous they were to include me in their dinner.

Festive anniversary dessert for three?

I have to mention that the only glitch in this weekend was a minor plumbing problem that will be repaired tomorrow.  I take much pride in the fact that I have figured out a temporary fix for this potential disaster.  I did not panic. This is just another part of learning to live alone for a while.


Jack and I enjoyed yoga again on Friday. Namaste.



My very special Auntie Bev

Sometime in 1952, I believe, my Aunt Beverly came from her native New York to visit her older brother Marvin and his new wife Jackie in St. Louis. She never left. She also, after over 50 years never quite lost her New York accent. In January of 2011 my Auntie Bev passed away at the age of 84 leaving behind a legacy of love and many people that she had touched in a variety of ways.

My Aunt had a life that certainly had its sad moments.  Widowed at the young age of 47 she never had children of her own due to a hereditary disease that took the life of her husband. She had other personal struggles but don't ever believe that her life was not a happy one or a life that did not impact the ones who loved her in so many ways. Bev was bright, brassy, funny, devoted to her family and, yes, sometimes inappropriate.  She was also a very kind person who genuinely cared about others. 

There are so many "Auntie Bev" stories that I don't know where to begin.  I want to do her justice as I talk about her but it is almost impossible to describe her in a few words.  I do remember the first time my husband met her when we were dating.  She was a very small and pretty woman with a big smile and a chest to match.  She was very "direct" in her speech and Tom was not often exposed to this in women Bev's age.  I can't remember exactly what she said but I do remember that Tom turned a nice shade of red.  Over the years he came to enjoy her open personality and even when she sat on his lap stating that she only wished she were a few years younger he knew that it was just her way of telling him that he was one of the family.

My Aunt used to take my sister and I out to "Happy Hour" as soon as we were old enough to drink  She got a real kick out of this but I did notice that she actually never had a drink herself. She was also a woman who had to adjust to change at later stages of her life.  After she was widowed she learned how to drive for the first time.  That's not easy at 47 and although she basically only drove about a ten square mile area most of her life  she did it because she had to and I thought it was a brave thing to do. As the years went on Bev became a favorite of my boys as they too learned that having Aunt Bev sit on your lap or tell you how handsome you were was a natural part of who she was.

It was very difficult watching Bev decline.  As I visited her in the nursing home I still felt her warmth and saw how open she was with others.  She loved to dance and always enjoyed the musical entertainment at the home.  She became the "greeter" for a while and would sit in the lounge at the entrance smiling at everyone who walked by.  In the end she was somewhat confused and could no longer communicate.

Bev had a modest income but through the wonder of my father's financial acumen she was more comfortable than she ever realized.  This is the main reason I am sharing her story now.  Bev's estate was divided between her remaining brother, as my father had sadly predeceased her, and my father's three children.  Her legacy has enabled my sister, who bravely attended law school in her forties, to pay off her loans and has made my stay in New York an easy one.  I would have done this anyway but her gift allowed me to not think twice about the expenses involved in this stay.  I could do this on my own without asking Tom for the money.  Now, he would laugh at this because I rarely "ask" for money but it just meant a lot to me to be able to do this with no guilt.

My only regret is that my dear Auntie Bev will never know how much her legacy has meant to so many people.  Then again, I hope that in some way she does know.  She would be very proud.


I told you she had a beautiful smile.



Grandpa and the City!

This was a very special weekend because Grandpa Tom came to visit  and everyone was happy to see him, especially Grandma.  Tom has been so supportive of this adventure of mine and I think that after 35 years of living together he is pretty special for taking on the additional burdens of living alone while I am away.  He works hard and now has to cook his own meals, do his shopping and his own laundry.  We all know that he is the" King of Clean" and likes to perform tasks around the house related to cleaning but seriously, I don't think that many men would have been so open to this situation and accepted the additional responsibilities on top of a busy job. I always knew I has picked a winner but its nice to be reminded.   This situation is a kind of unique role reversal as he has always been the one to leave as his career required him to travel and I was left behind.  I enjoyed showing him my apartment and the neighborhood and sharing the experience with him did make it more special.



This kid is jumping out of his seat with excitement!



Now it goes without saying that the high point of the visit was watching Grandpa and Jack get to know each other better.  That wide-eyed darling boy had his Grandpa cooing and baby talking in no time and they enjoyed watching the Bulls together.  Jack is already a fan even though he is a native New Yorker and he can't keep his eyes off the TV when the Bulls are playing. Grandpa also enjoyed taking his turn giving Jack his bottle. We enjoyed a dinner out to celebrate Valentine's Day on Saturday and were happy to watch Jack on Sunday night so his Mom and Dad could have their own well deserved Valentine dinner on Sunday night.

Its a little lonely tonight as Grandpa had to go home but he will be back soon and we can discover more about NYC each time.

Amazing self portrait taken by Grandpa on an iphone.  How did he do that?

The Beauty of Anonymity

I had no intention of posting tonight  but this unprecedented consecutive post simply could not wait.  I will be brief because, as you may recall, Tom thinks my posts may be too long and frequent.  I had another wonderful day on my journey and it began with an impromptu visit by my adorable cousin Irene.  Irene is a young woman who has been a New Yorker for about five or six years and is talented, creative and a total pleasure to be around.  She met Jack for the first time and I think it was love at first sight. They both seem to have that effect on people.

After my day with Jack was complete I returned to my neighborhood and enjoyed a relaxing and extremely quiet pedicure.  I must add that yesterday I had enjoyed an extremely relaxing manicure in Jack's neighborhood after "work".  Here is the importance of these two grooming experiences.  Anyone who knows me knows that nail care has always been somewhat important to me.  I take pride in the condition and appearance of my nails as many people do.  I am not obsessed  but I do require an acrylic manicure and have surprisingly found that many of the salons in my new area do not perform this procedure.  On a walk the other day with Jack I found such a place and was delighted.  Another welcome surprise to me was that the cost of both manicures and pedicures in NYC is actually lower than at home.  The quality of both experiences was outstanding.  As the manicurist began to work on me ever so gently,(she was even wearing a surgical  mask!) I couldn't help but compare this quiet calm place to my hometown salon where there was always conversation and a high level of activity.  This place was  so serene I nearly nodded off.  Then to my surprise and delight another employee quietly came up behind me and started to massage my neck. Who knew? This is New York. My immediate reaction was to tense up but I quickly accepted the unexpected pleasure.

I had a very similar experience with the pedicure tonight.  It was quiet, relaxing and almost zen like.  Then it occurred to me that the reason I felt so free was that I am living a virtually anonymous existence here.  I hope this does not make me sound unfriendly, you know that I am a pretty friendly person, but here I can walk down the street or go shopping or anything else and no one knows who I am.  Once you get over the initial unfamiliarity it is rather freeing to be in this situation for a while. 

As Jack would say, "peace"

Living Alone

It took fifty-eight years but I am finally experiencing what it is like to live alone.  I must admit that I was apprehensive about spending my first weekend alone in a new city.  Yes, I have my kids and Jack here but I was very specific when I decided to take on the role of the granny/nanny for a few months that I would not be dependant on them for entertainment  on the weekends.  They are a new young family and have to bond as a unit without Grandma always being there.

The initial strangeness of coming home to a quiet empty apartment is somehow a bit less lonely as the days progress.  I should add too that it is never really quiet here as it seems to me that New York drivers honk their horns much more frequently than any other place I have ever been.  Do they really think that honking a horn changes the behavior of other drivers or pedestrians?  I seriously doubt it.  There are also endless emergency vehicles sounding sirens at all hours of the night.  After only one week this odd symphony has become just white noise to me.  I probably won't be able to sleep in the quiet of the burbs when I return home.

My  first weekend did turn out to be very enjoyable for several reasons.  First I have to thank one of my favorite young New Yorkers, and daughter of my best friend Kim, and her boyfriend for taking me to lunch on Saturday and getting the weekend started.  Erin is a very impressive young woman. She is beautiful, smart and very brave for coming to New York several years ago to start a career in advertising that has led her to much success.  We had a great lunch and also walked through a part of town that was very accessible to my apartment.  I have discovered that the best way to figure out this town is to walk it.

This may sound very boring but Sunday was a very satisfying day for me because it was my first day being totally solo in my new city.  It may sound mundane but I woke up when I wanted to wake up, went to Starbucks and sat there by myself reading the New York Times and then went grocery shopping. I had already taken my laundry in the previous day for the same day "fluff and fold" experience.  This is a wonderful thing that New Yorkers do.  You just take a big bag of dirty clothes to a cleaners and within a few hours it is ready for you to pick up all folded in a surprisingly small package.  I definitely do not miss doing my own laundry.

  After my domestic duties were complete it was about noon time and I had the rest of the day ahead of me. That is when the true magic began.  I took a walk.  By this I do not mean I put on the usual walking gear and walked simply for exercise, I mean I walked to Central Park and then down Fifth Avenue and simply marveled at the fact that I was in New York City with no particular place to go but so many things to see.  I walked past the Plaza Hotel and down to St. Patrick's Cathedral and then made my way to Rockefeller Plaza and stopped to watch the ice skaters.  I continued to Times Square and down Broadway and just kept walking.  Somehow it seems to me that you just don't get tired when there is so much to observe and you are under no particular pressure to accomplish anything or meet a time line.

It was a great day.  Then I went home to watch the Giants win the Super Bowl.  I am very glad that they won.  Don't get me wrong, I wish it was the Bears but if not the Bears this time the Giants are okay with me.

I must also mention that since I have been in this wonderful city I have had the most glorious weather.  I hear that this is unprecedented for February but doubt if my presence has anything to do with this phenomenon.

Jack loves yoga

Well, the first week ended with a very exciting outing for Jack and Gamma.  Lindsay came home Thursday night with a very special gift for us.  A certificate for two sessions of " Mommy and Me" or in our case, "Gamma and Me" yoga.  What a special daughter-in-law I have.  I was very excited about the prospect of a little exercise and the chance to participate in a class with Jack so I brought my yoga clothes the next day in anticipation of our little journey.

The weather in NYC has been unusually mild since I arrived so the prospect of walking a mile each way to the class was not problematic at all.  After I had performed the ritual of getting us ready and positioning the stroller on the first floor,( refer to previous post for the drama behind that one), I looked at the directions that Lindsay had printed for me and discovered that the yoga studio was actually 1.8 miles from the apartment and not one mile. Fortunately I was running a bit early, any of my friends and my loving husband especially, know that I tend to be obnoxiously on time.  This time it was a good thing.  We started the walk through neighborhoods I had never experienced before and my little angel slept the entire way.  We made it on time, not early Tom, and had no problem finding our way.  I could not help but think about the sharp contrast in this life to the constant in and out of the car I had experienced as a typical suburban mom.  You can actually live your life and take your children to activities and only rely on your two feet. Very illuminating.

I don't want to over do this but the class was one of the most positive experiences I have had in a very long time.  The instructor was welcoming and warm.  This is yoga of course so I did expect a degree of relaxation.  The class consisted of five babies, Jack was the only boy, three moms, an attractive looking urban dad, and one grandmother.  I was secretly disappointed when the other parents did not throw themselves on the floor with shock as they learned I was the grandmother and not the mother but one mom was gracious and polite and told me that I was indeed a very young looking grandma.  Okay, she was being polite but it made me feel somewhat redeemed.Of course, and I am not making this up, Jack was truly the most observant, flexible and best natured baby in that studio.  He loved the ceiling fan from the get go and focused on me as we went through the various exercises. It was so much fun I can't tell you. I stretched and posed with the best of them holding Jack and swinging him through the air as requested.  I was going to keep up if it killed me. We ended by doing the baby yoga versions of "I'm a Little Teapot" and the "Hooky-pooky" and Jack smiled and squealed with delight. A few of the other babies had to pause for a feeding or for their parents to calm them down but Jack just kept looking around and exploring the surroundings. What an exceptional boy and what a totally wonderful day.

Jack was tired after our outing but I was EXHAUSTED! ( No picture available of my condition.) It is a fact that doing yoga while holding a baby and balancing him while you pose is tough at any age. The four mile round trip was invigorating while I was doing it but when I was home and settled down I could not move.  I spent the night at Brian's and slept well after just one martini.  It was Friday, the end of my first wonderful week.

Finally, Jack still can't understand why the Bears are not in the Super Bowl.  Better luck next year.

I'm getting to be a real New Yorker

I am happy to report that after four days as Jack's official granny/nanny and a total of six days in the Big Apple I am transitioning into being a true New Yorker.  I walk very fast even when I have no particular place to go and the flashing "do not walk" symbol is not a high priority.  I want everyone to think that I am important too and I can't possibly be expected to wait for a sign.  Of course, when I am walking with my little sweetheart I am extremely careful, if not a bit paranoid.

 We have had two walks so far.  One to the park that is on the river with a great view of the bridge and the city and one to the butcher where I swear I bought chicken breasts that are big as my head.  I digress but I have to tell you that I have NEVER seen meat like this.  The pre-packaged cuts we find in most grocery stores pale in comparison to these selections.  The most traumatic part of that shopping experience for me were the whole skinned rabbits,( including their little heads) that lay naked before me in the meat case.  Thank god Jack was asleep and escaped the horror of that sight. I can only imagine the unexplained screams he might have let out when he was introduced to Peter Rabbit.

Tom says these posts are too long but since he is not here I will continue.  I have to tell you how nuts I was the first time I prepared for our walk.  Remember taking your kids out?  Not too difficult. Well this is my grandson and he deserves only the best so I became obsessed with anything that could possibly go wrong.  First I had to take the stroller down a flight of stairs.  No big deal but I'm now 58, not 28 so I was concerned about the potential of dropping the thing.  It's only one flight so I was okay, suffering only a minor backache that night.  The real issue for me was not to forget my keys to the apartment when I took the stroller down and lock Jack in the apartment.  I never knew how OCD I was until I checked my pocket fifty times assuring myself I had not put Jack in any danger by locking myself out of the apartment.  Then I had to go back up get Jack, severely overdress him for the weather, carry him down the stairs and get him securely seated in the stroller.  By the way, strollers are awesome now.  They are lightweight, easy to drive and you look really cool walking down the street behind one. They even have cup holders and a special wrist strap that secures you to the stroller so you won't let the baby roll away.  Very clever.

Finally, I have to comment about how my brilliant little Jack knows when his picture is being taken.  This kid has his picture taken so often that its like a cross between a press conference and the red carpet. It is truly amazing how the changes in technology over the past twenty or thirty years have made it so easy to share his life with those who love him.  If he does something especially cute, which is quite often, I just take out my cell phone and can send it to someone instantly.  This is no big deal for our kids but I can remember when our kids were little and we had the video camera that took pictures on a VHS tape.  Can you remember what a huge machine that was?  We thought we had it all.  We had hit the big time with that one.  Now I can take a video one minute and send it to his Bubbe to delight her immediately.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term "Bubbe" that is is Great-grandmother.

I have to go now and eat a chicken breast that is as big as my head. Its been a long day.  I leave you with a picture of Jack dressed somewhat like an old man.  I found this particularly adorable.  Notice how well he poses?

It's good to be the Grandma

Well, Grandma has just finished her second day with baby Jack and the amazement continues. I don't know where to begin. Bear with me because there are some seriously sentimental lines coming. It is far beyond amazing to watch this man that my son has become  and his incredible wife loving and taking care of this baby. It seems like only yesterday that my husband and I were in their situation.  Now, Tom and are are good parents but my son and his wife seem to be calmer than we were. We had stuck a pacifier in Brian's mouth about ten minutes after we brought him home because it seemed to be the easiest way to calm him.  Our Jack has NEVER used a pacifier during his three months on this earth.  What a special boy.

I have to admit that it is only 7:20 pm and I am exhausted.  How did we do it moms? Jack is an easy baby full of smiles and coos but I had definitely forgotton how tiring it can be to attend to another's needs so completely. I feel so responsible.  I know I can do this well but I feel like I have to be even better than I was with my own kids because his parents have trusted me with such a precious gift. I have to say that the most special aspect of my situation is that with my kids I never felt I had enough time to just sit and enjoy them.  I find myself just talking to Jack and watching his every movement with such a clear eye. I find that , at least for me, I don't really have to be constantly thinking about what will come next as I did with my boys.  I can enjoy this experience one day at a time.

Finally I will recap the minor glitches in my day, none of which had anything to do with Jack.  I exited the subway in the wrong direction when I was going home and I am very proud to report that there was no panic involved.  This small town mid west girl can count and can read street numbers so the only result of my "error" was that I got to discover even more shopping potential for this weekend.  I also forgot where the grocery store near my place was but with a short call to my daughter-in-law I was set in the right direction.  I would never have revealed this to my son because he can be very much like his father in these situations. After all, I am Grandma in the city and I will learn to prevail. More fun to come.

I'm Finally Here!!

Well, here I am in New York City.  For my friends who know the back story the first part of this post will be redundant.  For anyone else out there who stumbles upon this blog I will tell you how my journey began.

I am 58 and a Grandmother for the first time. Jack, the cutest baby ever born, came into my life on Halloween 2011.  He is the son of my son Brian and his remarkable wife Lindsay. Obviously I am not the first woman to become a Grandmother but for any of you who have shared this experience it is everything, and more than you could ever anticipate. When my husband Tom and I came from Chicago to meet Jack at Thanksgiving we fell instantly in love with him, of course.  My daughter-in-law was on maternity leave and had to return to work at the end of January and they had found what they described as "adequete" day care for Jack at three months but infinitely better day care arrangements that would welcome him at the age of six months.  I looked at Lindsay and she looked at me and the journey began.  Of course, I was the perfect alternative to day care and I would move temporarily to NYC to take care of Jack until he was old enough to go to the good day care option. Who could love him as much as his "Gamma"?

Now, this may make me sound like they are getting the good end of this deal but in my opinion I am the big winner.  It was as if the planets aligned in the perfect situation to make all of us very happy.  I have been experiencing, for lack of a better explanation, a classic mid-life crisis for about ten years.  Should I get a job?  I tried that for about five years and was not as satisfied as I had hoped.  We have been trying to sell our home and downsize with a big city move and that did not happen.  Maybe this year. Anyway, I guess I never satisfied the desire to "live on my own" for a while as I married at 22 and never had my own place.  Now I have been presented with the opportunity to live in a large city, take care of myself and help out my son and his family in the process.

I have been very surprised and pleased as I have told friends about what I was going to do.  Everyone has been excited for me and encouraged me to make this move. I had thought that some people would have thought that I was being a pushy mother-in-law and should back off but I heard none of that. Instead my friends have been so happy for me and that has meant so much.  One of the conditions was that I would sublet my own place and commute to their home and not live with them. That is great for a week's visit but three months would be too close for comfort.  Of course I am very lucky that I can do this and, most importantly, that I have a husband who has encouraged me from the beginning of the idea.  More on that later.  Maybe he was TOO eager to see me go but I think he knew it was good for me and a gift that we could both give to our Jack.

As you will find as you follow me through this journey there are a number of challenges for this, in my opinion, fairly together Grandma. If my sons were reading this they would certainly laugh. Okay, I have never taken the subway by myself until today but I did successfully arrive in Astoria from Manhattan. I did require that Brian come to my apartment today since I was unable to turn on the television but that could have  happened to anyone.  Actually, I am very proud of myself that I figured out how to start This blog by myself.  Maybe no one is reading it and it is set up in the most primative fashion but maybe it will improve over the next few months.

Time to set the alarm on my I-phone, I figured that out myself too, so I can wake up and make the long journey to Queens in the morning for my first official day as the Granny/Nanny.  Knowing me, I will arrive too early in fear of arriving too late. I'll let you know how it all works out.

Good Night Everyone!!