I am 58 and a Grandmother for the first time. Jack, the cutest baby ever born, came into my life on Halloween 2011. He is the son of my son Brian and his remarkable wife Lindsay. Obviously I am not the first woman to become a Grandmother but for any of you who have shared this experience it is everything, and more than you could ever anticipate. When my husband Tom and I came from Chicago to meet Jack at Thanksgiving we fell instantly in love with him, of course. My daughter-in-law was on maternity leave and had to return to work at the end of January and they had found what they described as "adequete" day care for Jack at three months but infinitely better day care arrangements that would welcome him at the age of six months. I looked at Lindsay and she looked at me and the journey began. Of course, I was the perfect alternative to day care and I would move temporarily to NYC to take care of Jack until he was old enough to go to the good day care option. Who could love him as much as his "Gamma"?
Now, this may make me sound like they are getting the good end of this deal but in my opinion I am the big winner. It was as if the planets aligned in the perfect situation to make all of us very happy. I have been experiencing, for lack of a better explanation, a classic mid-life crisis for about ten years. Should I get a job? I tried that for about five years and was not as satisfied as I had hoped. We have been trying to sell our home and downsize with a big city move and that did not happen. Maybe this year. Anyway, I guess I never satisfied the desire to "live on my own" for a while as I married at 22 and never had my own place. Now I have been presented with the opportunity to live in a large city, take care of myself and help out my son and his family in the process.
I have been very surprised and pleased as I have told friends about what I was going to do. Everyone has been excited for me and encouraged me to make this move. I had thought that some people would have thought that I was being a pushy mother-in-law and should back off but I heard none of that. Instead my friends have been so happy for me and that has meant so much. One of the conditions was that I would sublet my own place and commute to their home and not live with them. That is great for a week's visit but three months would be too close for comfort. Of course I am very lucky that I can do this and, most importantly, that I have a husband who has encouraged me from the beginning of the idea. More on that later. Maybe he was TOO eager to see me go but I think he knew it was good for me and a gift that we could both give to our Jack.
As you will find as you follow me through this journey there are a number of challenges for this, in my opinion, fairly together Grandma. If my sons were reading this they would certainly laugh. Okay, I have never taken the subway by myself until today but I did successfully arrive in Astoria from Manhattan. I did require that Brian come to my apartment today since I was unable to turn on the television but that could have happened to anyone. Actually, I am very proud of myself that I figured out how to start This blog by myself. Maybe no one is reading it and it is set up in the most primative fashion but maybe it will improve over the next few months.
Time to set the alarm on my I-phone, I figured that out myself too, so I can wake up and make the long journey to Queens in the morning for my first official day as the Granny/Nanny. Knowing me, I will arrive too early in fear of arriving too late. I'll let you know how it all works out.
Hi Gamma, this is Vanessa, Lindsay's friend/co-worker. I think you are doing a great and selfless thing for Brian and his family. I hope when I am a grandma I would be as generous and loving as you. Your are one of the best grandmas, keep up the good work.
ReplyDelete