My very special Auntie Bev

Sometime in 1952, I believe, my Aunt Beverly came from her native New York to visit her older brother Marvin and his new wife Jackie in St. Louis. She never left. She also, after over 50 years never quite lost her New York accent. In January of 2011 my Auntie Bev passed away at the age of 84 leaving behind a legacy of love and many people that she had touched in a variety of ways.

My Aunt had a life that certainly had its sad moments.  Widowed at the young age of 47 she never had children of her own due to a hereditary disease that took the life of her husband. She had other personal struggles but don't ever believe that her life was not a happy one or a life that did not impact the ones who loved her in so many ways. Bev was bright, brassy, funny, devoted to her family and, yes, sometimes inappropriate.  She was also a very kind person who genuinely cared about others. 

There are so many "Auntie Bev" stories that I don't know where to begin.  I want to do her justice as I talk about her but it is almost impossible to describe her in a few words.  I do remember the first time my husband met her when we were dating.  She was a very small and pretty woman with a big smile and a chest to match.  She was very "direct" in her speech and Tom was not often exposed to this in women Bev's age.  I can't remember exactly what she said but I do remember that Tom turned a nice shade of red.  Over the years he came to enjoy her open personality and even when she sat on his lap stating that she only wished she were a few years younger he knew that it was just her way of telling him that he was one of the family.

My Aunt used to take my sister and I out to "Happy Hour" as soon as we were old enough to drink  She got a real kick out of this but I did notice that she actually never had a drink herself. She was also a woman who had to adjust to change at later stages of her life.  After she was widowed she learned how to drive for the first time.  That's not easy at 47 and although she basically only drove about a ten square mile area most of her life  she did it because she had to and I thought it was a brave thing to do. As the years went on Bev became a favorite of my boys as they too learned that having Aunt Bev sit on your lap or tell you how handsome you were was a natural part of who she was.

It was very difficult watching Bev decline.  As I visited her in the nursing home I still felt her warmth and saw how open she was with others.  She loved to dance and always enjoyed the musical entertainment at the home.  She became the "greeter" for a while and would sit in the lounge at the entrance smiling at everyone who walked by.  In the end she was somewhat confused and could no longer communicate.

Bev had a modest income but through the wonder of my father's financial acumen she was more comfortable than she ever realized.  This is the main reason I am sharing her story now.  Bev's estate was divided between her remaining brother, as my father had sadly predeceased her, and my father's three children.  Her legacy has enabled my sister, who bravely attended law school in her forties, to pay off her loans and has made my stay in New York an easy one.  I would have done this anyway but her gift allowed me to not think twice about the expenses involved in this stay.  I could do this on my own without asking Tom for the money.  Now, he would laugh at this because I rarely "ask" for money but it just meant a lot to me to be able to do this with no guilt.

My only regret is that my dear Auntie Bev will never know how much her legacy has meant to so many people.  Then again, I hope that in some way she does know.  She would be very proud.


I told you she had a beautiful smile.